So I'll try not to ramble. I have come to gradually accept that I'm gay. I think I've known this all along but have been in denial till recently. I'm just really reluctant and anxious about coming out. I don't know anyone in the LGBT community (which is why I'm here) so I feel like nobody I know can relate to my situation. Or even take it seriously for that matter. I actually tried telling my dad once and also a friend and both times I was met with ridicule and disbelief (the main reasons being I have never dated/been with a girl, dont act/look like the "stereotypical" lesbian whatever THAT'S supposed to mean). So I guess I'm just here for support/advice/friends/anything!!
Hey RandomCloud.. I'm sorry you are feeling alone I know how it feels to feel like the majority of people around you don't understand your situation/sexuality. I also don't look and act stereotypically gay.. Enjoy your time here anyway.. And if you ever need anyone to talk to I am here! (*hug*) x
Heya chica! If you need a chat or advice don't hesitate to message me. Everyone's situation is different but I had some experience with trying to "come out" and it not being taken seriously. I think that makes it harder because the courage you built up to mention it was thrown back in your face. Makes the thought of properly putting your foot down and saying it again, more nerve racking and scary. I kept thinking what if I get the same response? Do I need to make out with a girl in front of you for you to finally take this serious? Doess your area have any lgbt support groups or clubs? I went to a drop in support group who went on trips and nights out together but also just had nights to chill with a cup of coffee and get to know other lgbt young people. The one I went to was for 16-25 so everyone was similar age and going through quite a few of the same issues/questioning/isolation. Made a good few friends who I knew would understand things other people couldn't. Until you decide you are ready to put that foot down and come out 100% clearly and openly, use this forum and the lovely people on it for advice and support . During this stage you will need some form of support network and EC peeps are awesome. I'm a newbie and was immediately made to feel welcome. Feel free to add me as friend and message me if you want any advice or support or just a listening ear at any time. Kudos for finally accepting who you are. That in itself is one of the hardest stages! Hugs x
Thanks guys for saying hey Yes that's exactly how I feel! And unfortunately there are no support groups that I know of. I'm at a small campus and the only clubs here are religious/sports-related
Welcome! You are definitely brave to tell your dad and friend, so you just need to keep the ball rolling and be consistent if they try to make you act straight or interested in guys.
That's ridiculous you have no local support in place for lgbt. Are there many lgbt people living in your area/on campus? Equality needs stressed in education, really needs stressed. My advice would be that this time when you are ready to say it and mean it and officialise people's knowledge about it/about who you are truly- get those you want to tell, to sit down in front of you in a room and don't let them leave run til they fully understand and take seriously what you need to say. Or if just start dating a girl, mention her casually, and if the reaction is bad or shocked- tell them you have told them before and it was them who refused to believe it and ignored you coming out. Them!
There is a significant LGBT population in my city (nobody that I know personally) but no support groups that I know of- it's basically just huge parties and gay bars haha. My campus is about an hour away and everyone I know there is fairly conservative/religious/etc. I would love to just sit my family down and make it crystal clear but I don't feel like I can do that without having some support first, especially since they might not react well
Random Cloud, Take all the time to deliberate and feel sure and ready. Use EC and any other form of support network to get you to that point! Don't rush it cos it is a big step and stage of your life that isn't an easy thing to face for anyone. I saw on another thread the suggestion of confiding in one person who you know will support you and back you. if you can Find that person, or maybe you already have, I think it sounds a good idea. Then when it comes to family - you can bring that friend to encourage, support you and help you remember what needs said. It means there is someone there for you whatever your parents reaction is. And make sure they take you seriously. That's one suggestion. but explore everything. explore support. Maybe a near by city or area has an lgbt support group? I feel for you - because I know how hard it is when you don't know anyone going through the same questioning and confusion and acceptance of yourself. But you never know - you may know people who are like you and are struggling with hiding it/being okay with their feelings.
Luckily, I do have a couple of friends who I know will be 100% supportive/take me seriously. Baby steps
"You cannot jump over a mountain, you must hike, struggle, strain. You will get there, but with many steps... not one single leap. That is impossible." (*hug*)
