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To all newbies - reg member here to chat :)

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by AlezinwondRland, Aug 16, 2014.

  1. AlezinwondRland

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    Hi guys,
    Basically I know that as The Welcome Lounge, this section of the forum is mostly used for newbies to EC to introduce themselves and receive all our lovely messages of support (my own included). But I like to help in any way I can and I figured I'd start this thread for any new peeps who want advice, support, a chat - to know I'm here for just that. Anytime.
    I am at the point where I am 100% out and 100% comfortable and proud of who I am as a Lesbian and as a person.
    So just letting you guys know that you can add me as friend, PM me, post on my wall, or on this thread and I will feel privileged to help in any way i can
    Peace and <3
    :icon_bigg
     
  2. Candace

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    Hello and welcome to EC! :smilewave :welcome:. It's a pleasure to meet you :slight_smile:.
     
  3. YuriBunny

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    Welcome~! ^.^
     
  4. lovely lesbian

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  5. AlezinwondRland

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    I'm not a new member guys ! lol but thankyou! started the thread to let newbies know im here to chat :slight_smile:
     
  6. happydavid

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  7. AlezinwondRland

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    haha thankyou :slight_smile: x
     
  8. Anonymous777

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    It's so generous from you to offer advice, support, etc. to everyone who need it. If you ever want to talk to somebody, don't hesitate to contact me.
     
  9. NDark

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    Hiya~! I'm NDark! I came here on some searches on how to improve your gaydar. XD I've been cursed with guys having crushes on me and girls ignoring me. The only gay people I know are two bisexual boys and an uber-hot bisexual chick who's more into guys than girls. Do you have any ideas on how to locate the gay people at a school? Thanks for creating this topic! :3
     
  10. AlezinwondRland

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    Bless :,) thanks dude

    ---------- Post added 18th Aug 2014 at 11:04 PM ----------

    Your welcome sweetie :slight_smile: here anytime. As for advice on the mysterious gaydar and how to tune it, I guess it's just experience? For me it's usually I suppose to do with traits and looks , qualities I see in the girls Iv been with or known were gay? As for just by general looks? I know it's weird and seems hypocritical, but stereotype looks for lesbians, even if theyr femme - are based on how some girls choose to style their hair and the fashion sense they like . It's wrong to think every girl like the stereotypes is gay or unlike the stereotypes straight, it would be b/s, but that and experience is all I can really say helps with the ability to tell cub. What I used to do to help out a bit was If a girl walked past me and was hot, I'd keep a bit of eye contact, see if they keep it back , and if they do give a cheeky grin. I'm a femme lesbian but I wear boyish clothes lost of the time, I carry myself more like a guy in most situations (sometimes I do like acting a bit more like a girl lol) I also am fully out so wear pride bands round my wrist and other jewellery. I have the symbol for female round my neck at minute and my wristbands that say pride ireland) so basically my point is that from just walking past you can pretty much notice. So if i keep eye contact they would know why.
    Trying my best at advice on this- it's quite difficult to give an exact answer pet, sorry. If anyone else can help with advice please chip in! I get the guy thing too at times but take it as flattery that's my advice! It's still attraction for a reason! :thumbsup: hope this has helped in some way at all- it at least made any sense and you get what Iv been trying to say .
     
  11. jay777

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    Is your issue meeting others in general or identifying other girls who might be interested?
    Do you have groups at your school, maybe with topics you like or where shy people or girls might go to, like photography ?
    If you could accept yourself a bit more, you're allright just who you are, maybe you would feel a bit more relaxed and secure...
    A lot comes to eye contact... or just saying a few words... generally talking a bit to girls, being interested... making little remarks like nice tshirt... etc... if the answer is not what was expected, relax... it might not have something to do with you, or the person would not fit you anyways...
    What do you like to do, are there other girls who might share that ?
    Are there possibly LGBT centers with offers for youths close by you ?
     
    #12 jay777, Aug 18, 2014
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2014
  12. NDark

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    Thanks for replying! *hugs* My issue isn't quite spotting random lesbos/bis whom I've never met or talked to, but identifying gays amongst people that I know a bit and talk to from time to time. For the most part, the groups I go to are vastly populated by just my straight friends. Everyone else is too afraid of us weirdos to join. XD I do accept myself, and I've never had family issues – I figured out who I am by talking it through with my parents – but I just can't find others like myself. I mean, I have a bi female friend and a bi male friend (and a questioning guy friend) as well as a girl who I swear is an in-the-closet bisexual, but my problem is that I just can't tell. I can't flirt my way into a relationship or anything and I suck at just going up to people and talking to them – I come across as awkward – so I need advice for people that you know a bit, like from school or clubs.
     
  13. jay777

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    (*hug*) you back :slight_smile:
    Flirting... just giving an interested glance, a bit longer than just looking... then making a nice remark, like nice t-shirt etc... the remarks, for example, might be practiced with relatives... just remaining calm, be yourself... then taking it from there... which class... etc...
    Sometimes its not necessary to go up... just listening a bit, then joining in the conversation...
    Its only awkward if you feel so... remaining relaxed and natural, you can just speak your mind... and if you might remain relaxed, oftentimes the others relax, too...
    With known people, a possibility would be to bring up subjects like the lword... their favourite character, for example...
    or if she likes female celebrities lesbians are said to like, for example... emma watson, kate moenning, natalie portman.. I'm not a fan of celebrities, by the way... I think they distract a bit from reality...
    Some Lesbians tend to like sports... softball etc... even as watchers...
    those are stereotypes, not sure things...
    Don't think of yourself as weirdo... you're perfectly ok and its ok to be yourself. :slight_smile:
     
  14. NDark

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    owo

    Complimenting, I do almost automatically. My main problem, I think, is that most of the girls at school look and act ridiculously straight. And maybe I passed or even talked with some lesbians but had no idea because I already had a crush on someone for the majority of last year! *shuffles into a corner to cry*
    And while I may look – emphasis on the 'may' – like a stereotypical lesbian, I don't really act like one. I've never watched Ellen, hadn't heard of ANY gay TV shows until I joined this site, and can't stand celebrities or sports. *continues sobbing*
    I like to think of myself as a weirdo, actually. Most people would take it as an insult, but I wish I could be known as the 'weird one' or something similar. I hate fitting in – even though that's kind of what I'm doing in terms of appearance right now. Huh. Oh, well, at least most of the girls who pinged my gaydar (or pleasebegaydar) are more intellectual.
     
  15. AlezinwondRland

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    “We're all a little weird and life's a little weird. And when we find someone who's weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness call it love.”

    - I have this tattooed on my chest around my heart. Love it. Embrace the weirdness cub!
    Conformity is boring.
     
  16. jay777

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    :wink: :slight_smile:

    (*hug*)
    This is called femme invisibility...
    but at that age some are also questioning and exploring...

    this is from urbandictionary dot com:
    Lipstick Lesbian
    A feminine-type lesbian... Usually likes cats, cuddling, flowers, and affection. Also usually wears feminine clothing, long hair...
    but if you're more into the intellectual type thats perfectly ok, too... so you probably have a lot to talk...

    Thats also stereotypes... doesn't necessarily have to fit exactly, only gives a broad picture... and that could be many people...


    Much comes down to the eye contact. Does she give you glances, maybe shyly ? If you turn and look at her, does she look at you, then maybe look away ?

    If you have a feeling someone likes you, you could take it from there...


    Another hint might, just might be facebook... if where it says "looking for" there is something other than "men", empty for example, your chances might be higher... but even if it says men she might be questioning...

    Well if you like the intellectual girls you could just talk to them... not too weird, just normal in the beginning, so that she is interested...
    taking it from there...

    Do you know some girls who share your hobbies ?

    Another thing might be telling your gay friends you're looking... if you feel that could help... they just might know someone...


    "Knowledge, Acceptance, Integration"

    that sounds quite intellectual to me :slight_smile: (*hug*)
     
    #17 jay777, Aug 19, 2014
    Last edited: Aug 19, 2014
  17. NDark

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    She's a pretty shy girl. Maybe she did like me, but one of my annoying friends kept bothering her about a book she forgot to return to me, so I think he turned her away...

    As for femmes, that's a pain. I'm in a pile with all my squishable friends at the bottom of the social ladder, so those chicks are way out of my league. The only time I ever interact with them is when I ask to borrow a pencil. Not that I'd want to date a snobby girl, anyways – the snobby femmes, that is; I know not all of them are – I just want to know other gays, since I'm losing my two bisexual friends this year. :icon_sad:

    I suppose so. Now I really wish school would start sooner. I don't like swimming that much, anyways.

    I came up with the "Knowledge, Acceptance, Integration" quote on my own. I was telling my dad that just knowing about and accepting gays and the ways of gays (man, I feel like Dr. Suess or something) isn't enough and that we need to integrate them into our society, and then I realized that my signature slot was empty so I just slapped it there. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:ride: (*hug*)
     
  18. jay777

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    Well its never too loate... you just could make some contact, like saying you hope she forgot about the incident and what she's doing now...

    All in all I'd say remember the others are shy too... so if you just remain calm and say something to get in contact and show you're interested thats great...

    Some of the femme girls might just be insecure and cover it up... maybe one or two of them are really nice... but if you don't like them I'd stay away...

    :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:ride:frowning2:*hug*) very clever of you :slight_smile:
     
  19. C06122014

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    Great person! :slight_smile: but still welcome haha you're relatively new? :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile: