Just learning to be comfortable with myself.

I decided to join this forum because I have suffered being in the closet all my life until about 2 years ago.

However, I don't just come out and tell everyone. But I'm through with lying about it. I won't pretend to be into girls anymore. If someone asks, I'll tell.

I find the ordeal very similar to other qualities I have that I find humiliating. For instance, I'm very shy and passive. And very quiet in a crowd. This mostly causes me a lot of anxiety during social occasions, as I strain and wish I was out-going, confident and talkative.

But then I realized that these qualities do not necessarily need a negative connotation. There are a handful of people who actually aspire to these traits. Instead of stressing out from changing who I am, I remind myself that there is nothing wrong with being quiet. For all anyone else knows, I probably seem like a good listener. Once I stopped fighting who I am and accept it, my confidence grows. And funny, when my confidence grows, I open up quite a bit more.

Same with my sexual orientation. If I can feel comfortable being gay, not only can I be more confident, but I may then have the right perspective to subtly show others how they can be comfortable with me as well.

My view is that it isn't a big deal. It's only a small part of what makes me who I am.

I joined this site because occasionally, I still struggle with hate from other people at times, and it's easy for me to retreat back into my shell. It is plausible that most of my life problems are caused from me being in the closet, and having slightly low confidence.

At the same time, there might be some things I have learned that may be useful for someone on here. I look forward to meeting people on this site.