This may be a lot to read but I want to share how I've gotten to this point. I don't claim to know a whole lot about what this change entails, just how it feels for me: This is a whole new chapter to my life and I am completely new to this. I have been through a lot these past few years such as having friends and family die last year and before that nearly lost my life on a couple of occasions (for now I won't be too specific). After releasing all of my pent up emotions into artistic outlets and having a complete mental breakdown I started to look inwardly really hard. I come to realize that I am bi and I have immediately accepted and acknowledged it as something about myself. I had previously only been in long term relationships with women but I have been a mite closer to a couple of closest friends than most close friends generally do. Although I have not lost any attraction to women, I could feel in back of my mind that there was something unresolved about my sexuality (I am able to love and be attracted to a person from either gender). I was a bit hesitant to confront it due to the fact that I suffered sexual abuse from a young age and thought that maybe it was stowed away damage from that. I was careful and I just thought about it as thoroughly as I could possibly examine myself and ever since I've never felt better. All my self-doubt immediately took a backseat, I feel more comfortable in my own skin and accepting of the way I am than ever and for the first time in years I have been genuinely cheery. It feels as though I had lost the ability to be that happy and found it again. Things are immediately starting to change for the better and I'm taking the same active charge of my life that I was before the most recent traumatic events took place. I have a clearer idea of how to get what I want out of life but more importantly what I want in the first place. I have always navigated choices and certainty from feel. I know when something is complete or the right thing for me to do by being in tune with how it feels deep down which makes it like a primary sense. Before I discovered who I was this way, I felt like I was losing that feeling, becoming numb and losing my primary sense and now that I know who I am, I can feel again. I have always been supportive of lgbt rights and as a result of simply not being an ignorant person before I had this realization, I am fortunate enough to have many gay and trans friends who are now around to remind me I'm not alone with this and I am already aware of the impact of discrimination has and know what to expect.
Thank you for sharing that with us. We are happy to have you on EC. I think you will make a good addition to EC.
Thankyou. I've come to realize just how spectral sexuality is and that with how majestically complicated we are, how could it possibly be simple black and white?
That was a really superb introduction and a pleasure to read. As a new member, it was good of you to share your journey with us and I hope others may take some inspiration from it. You've obviously done a lot of self work to arrive at this point, but I really hope you feel empowered in finding your own way, on your own terms. I hope we'll hear more from you on Empty Closets. Welcome!
I am happy to accept any advice any you may have or anything you think I should be aware of. I am very surprised about how free and comfortable I feel from this change and so quickly. I'm not 100% sure what to make of it but I'll enjoy the feeling while it lasts.
Hey and welcome to EC I hope you enjoy your time here and that you are able to make new friends who will both advise and support you so that we can help you in any way possible, I hope that I can help you, and that I am able to advise you but also I hope that you are willing and able to accept my help when you feel you need it again good luck and welcome to this wonderful community, EC. It you ever need a friend don't hesitate to contact me
