well, not sure where to start. I'm in my mid 40's, married 24yrs with two kids. I have been in the closet for over 20 years. My best friend in high school twenty -six years ago killed herself when we were 18. It was a very hard time for me. hind sight.... I have just been hiding since. I didn't realize she was gay at the time or I was for that matter. It was a different time then and a very conservative place. There was no support at home and homophobic father. Just admitting it to myself out loud (and one other person)has changed me. I can never go back now. Not sure where to turn and what to do. so many things will be affected. it's overwhelming. I'm just so scared.
I'm sorry about your best friend. Think of this as the first step to your new life. You can get through this with the proper support, and you might first try to find some local people for help. Try reading the later in life subforum for more stories and maybe to post your own and get advice.
I'm very sorry for what happened to your friend. Don't be scared. I think I can safely say in all of our names that you have our support and that we'll try to answer every one of your questions, just make sure you ask them. If you ever need to talk to someone, even though I'm a young boy who still has a lot to learn, I'm a good listener and I'd be more than honored to do it. Lots of love, Andy
Thank you to all. I am learning a lot just being here. The welcome has been a hug from afar. I needed it. thanks again
Losing someone to suicide is never easy. The years may pass, but the unanswered questions and wounded feelings can remain. I'm very sorry for the loss you experienced all those years ago. It's clear the memory remains with you and I wonder if you've ever really spoken about it to anyone? Maybe joining EC will afford you such an opportunity. It's very scary to think about accepting your sexuality to pursue real happiness as you are potentially leaving behind those things that have given your life a certain amount of structure and stability. You are bound to feel anxious about it. The LGBT Later in Life board contains many stories that may resonate with you, so do take time to have a read and share your own concerns with us. We like to help, if we can.
You are certainly not alone in beginning to accept your sexuality later in life. I'm 46 and have just come out to my two brothers. They have both been very supportive so far - accepting yourself is indeed scary, I was in denial for a long time, but have finally accepted it. I'm working through things and getting towards even embracing it. There are definitely people here who are willing to talk to you and help. (me included.) I encourage you to use EC and ask all the questions you need.
Welcome and Hi.. I am so sorry to hear about your friend.. I am only fairly new here but have found everyone to be very supportive and accepting of new members, so hope you find what you are looking for here.
