So without regurgitating everything in my profile, I'll give a brief synopsis of why I have found myself here. I am 43 and in the midsts of my second divorce and engaged to a third man and I find myself watching "The L word" and daydreaming about being in a relationship with another woman. That's a big red flag. So I guess I am here to meet people to talk about it and try to figure out if my relationships failing and my penchant for promiscuity is because I really want to be with a woman and I'm looking for something that I'll never find with a man so I'll never be happy or if I'm just an asshole.... Yeah, that's me. I identify as bisexual and have told family and friends. Truthfully though, I've only been with a woman about two or three times and there was always a man involved and it was geared for his pleasure. I find women attractive. All women. But the ones that turn me on? The ones I fantasize about? I call them "boy girls". I'd love to go out with a woman, get to know her, find out if this is what has made a mess of me but I live in such a small town and I don't even know where to look or how to try. I just could really use someone to talk to...
Hi and welcome. Forgive me if I'm wrong, but from your post it seems you're rushing into relationships. You're engaged to one man while still finalizing the divorce for the second. What's your hurry? Do you really love this new guy? Given you're renewed interest in women maybe you should slow things down some and explore what you really want.
I'm in the process of trying to figure that out. I think you are right. I do care very deeply for this guy, but I'm not sure it's going to work. I think maybe I rushed into the engagement. I don't know how to back things off and explore what's going on with me without hurting him deeply. I do t want to hurt him. He is a wonderful man, I'm just not sure it's right for me and if I do truly have feelings that I am attracted to women I don't think it's fair to him. Thanks for replying. I know I am an angst riddled mess. It just helps a lot to be able to actually state all this to someone else instead of it just making loops in my head.
I read your profile n noticed you're a single parent. Maybe that's why you rush into relationships? Maybe you feel obligated to provide your children with that father figure? I'm just guessing here, how old r your kids? Rushing from one relationship to the next isn't healthy for them any more than it is for you. Do they know you're bi? As for your fiance, you either tell him now n hurt him a Lil, or wait til later n hurt him more, as well as hurting others. If he loves you he'll understand, though it will hurt. Bottom line is you need to find what you want. Don't rush into something for the sake of others, that rarely ends well.
Hello and welcome. It's a pleasure meeting you. I must say, I agree with NatWheeled. She's right, you're rushing into things. Anyhow, I hope it all works out for you. Lots of love, Andy
Thanks guys. My kids are 19,17, and 15. The two oldest live with me. It is actually my daughter and her boyfriend. My 15 yr old daughter lives with her day and stepmom. My kids know I am bi and my fiancé knows too. I've never kept it a secret from him. You are most liky right about me being afraid to be alone. I have always been defendant on someone or something else to help take care of things and this is the first time I have ever done things on my own. Daryl, my fiancé, helps some with little things. For the most part though, I handle things on my own. I just feel so lonely despite him being in the picture. I kind of want to talk a little about our relationship in the bedroom but I'm insure if this is an appropriate place to do that....
Okay, so I Am talking to him about some things. I dunno if this will be it for us or just slowing down.... We will see what happens I guess
Many people have opened threads on that subject . If you feel lonely do you miss something emotionally ?
