Hello everyone, I'll try not to make this post too rambling! I was very happy to read, as a guest, some posts from maturer people who have recently discovered their sexuality. In this day and age everyone is forced into sex/sexuality quite quickly, which is why I initially felt a bit silly in my recent realisation at age 27. I've had a chronic illness for 10 years now, and sex and attraction has been the last thing on my mind. I first became ill at 17, and my experience with sex was trying to avoid it. I had boyfriends and I never allowed them to do anything with me - I hated being touched. I didn't feel attracted to them at all (although from afar I had thought they were aesthetically attractive) and I tried to avoid any intimacy. Going from this into illness I thought I was asexual - men had been my only experience of sexuality. I never even considered any other option. I was both "young" and "asexual", those were my excuses. A short while ago a friend of mine asked me what my sexuality was and, as I'm not a girly girl, if I wanted to change my gender. I said I was happy with my gender but even I wasn't convinced when I said asexual. He asked me if I'd ever be with a woman, and I said that the idea doesn't put me off. I realised my own words! I doesn't put me off. I run from men, but women don't put me off. I finally allowed myself to consider that possibility, and to look at women in a different way. So many different feelings came upon me, I couldn't believe it. My illness had put everything on hold in terms of exploring my own sexuality, but if I was honest the answer had been there a long time. I finally saw why I always felt at odds with so many things. Only a couple of friends know so far because everything is so recent, within the last two months, and I need to consider things further. But I think I've finally realised who, and what, I am. I look forward to talking to you all on the forum, and thank you for allowing me to ramble.. Kate x
Thank you both for the welcome! I've spotted another instance of me missing out a letter, I was obviously too eager to post.. Candace, your signature made me laugh out loud!
I have been chronically ill for almost 6 years now, housebound for most of that and wheelchair bound for even more- I understand that feeling! I am sorry to hear that you are a fellow spoonie (I do hope you get that reference or I am going to come across even more mad than I am) Everyone rambles here, you will fit in fine! I am sure you will get the support and advice here that you need. Feel free to message me, and I hope you are as well as possible. Tia x
Thank you both! Oh Tia, I am indeed a spoonie, and I get the reference! I was diagnosed with CFS/ME ten years ago this November. I'm so sorry you've been through so much, you must have been so young when your illness struck. Thank you, you can message me anytime too. It's very difficult to find out about oneself when it's difficult to meet new people! I hope you're as well as possible today. Kate x
Hi Kate, I am also in my late 20's, and until recently, the idea of being with a woman never seemed to be an option. So welcome, and I hope we both figure somethings out for ourselves. -R
Thanks for the further welcomes! Rosemary, it's a relief to know that one isn't alone in that. I'm sure this place will be a help for both of us Kate x
