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Just look to talk

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by jason1111, Sep 17, 2008.

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  1. jason1111

    jason1111 Guest

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    Hey everybody, I guess I'm just looking to talk once in awhile about gay issues, I'm not totally out yet, I'm terrified of this neighbourhood but I can't leave. You figure a guy my age wouldn't care but I do it consumes my life. I can't do anything without thinking is this gay enough, I know it sounds stupid but I can't help it. I've been in the closet so long I don't even know excuse the ignorance how behave in a gay manner.
     
    #1 jason1111, Sep 17, 2008
  2. beckyg

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    You don't have to behave gay. Just be yourself. I'm glad you found us though! Welcome to EC!
     
    #2 beckyg, Sep 17, 2008
  3. EM68

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    Welcome. Like Becky said bee yourself. I just turned 40 and just a few months ago came to terms with my sexuality. This is a great place with some great people. If you need anything or have any questions just let us know. :smilewave
     
    #3 EM68, Sep 17, 2008
  4. jason1111

    jason1111 Guest

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    Hey, I need to find some support groups in my area, part of me is still in denial but I don't know have to change it.
     
    #4 jason1111, Sep 17, 2008
  5. jason1111

    jason1111 Guest

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    Oh ya and thanks for the welcome :slight_smile:
     
    #5 jason1111, Sep 17, 2008
  6. EM68

    EM68
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    See if there is a PFLAG group in your area.
     
    #6 EM68, Sep 17, 2008
  7. Seanboy23

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    We're all here to help, Jason! I'm only a year older than you and haven't quite hit my first full year being openly out and in the local gay community. I don't know about your location or situation, nor do i know how feasible this idea is, but for me, the BEST thing to happen in me "figuring it all out" was when I took the plunge and jumped into the local gay community. Yes, I had certain "curiosities" on my mind, things I wanted to explore, but the more important outcome is that I have made SO many great friends, which serves two great purposes: first, I have a support system and people who care about me, and accept me; and second, I have places to go where I can just be ME, and not worry about how "gay" I am or am not being.

    Welcome!!
     
    #7 Seanboy23, Sep 17, 2008
  8. jason1111

    jason1111 Guest

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    Thanks Seanboy23 all this support and advice helps me feel a little more at ease. Question I have two straight neighbours that I talk to, not sure if I should tell them, I live in a pretty rough neighbourhood.
     
    #8 jason1111, Sep 17, 2008
  9. Seanboy23

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    Ah. I would say that in that case, go with your gut instincts.

    Question: what do you think is causing you to feel so anxious to tell people? It says in your stats that you are out to some, so I wonder what is driving your need to let others know, especially if they're not reasonably close friends.
    Personally, if your surroundings are questionable and the two neighbors aren't at LEAST comfortable friends, then I would really think about saying anything. But that's just me.
     
    #9 Seanboy23, Sep 17, 2008
  10. jason1111

    jason1111 Guest

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    I don't know I just feel I have to be honest, when they say things about women, I don't want to agree makes me feel stupid so I just sit there. The only reason I feel I should tell people is that's a lot of the advice I get. I've been with women before I really realized for sure that I was gay so I feel stupid telling them even though they have moved on.
     
    #10 jason1111, Sep 17, 2008
  11. Noah

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    tell who you want to tell. there's no right or wrong answer. I realize im younger than you, but I work and have friends too. Everyone talks about setting me up with a girl. I just laugh it off, but its really uncomfortable. be yourself, and tell who you want to tell.
     
    #11 Noah, Sep 17, 2008
  12. littledinosaurs

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    I'd deffiantely find a PFlAG. it can really help to have one other lgbt person to talk to it about in person and help you make those steps to coming to terms with it and coming out. (it did for me)
     
    #12 littledinosaurs, Sep 17, 2008
  13. Jim1454

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    Hi and welcome to EC from Jim in Toronto. You'll feel better about yourself if you just hang around here for a while...
     
    #13 Jim1454, Sep 18, 2008
  14. Maddy

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    Hey, welcome to EC! This is a great place to work everything out.
     
    #14 Maddy, Sep 20, 2008
  15. JurrBurr

    JurrBurr Guest

    Welcome to EC!

    :welcome:
     
    #15 JurrBurr, Sep 20, 2008
  16. jason1111

    jason1111 Guest

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    Thank you for the welcomes.
     
    #16 jason1111, Sep 22, 2008
  17. Lexington

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    We're here with ears (well - eyes, actually), so feel free to chat away. The Support & Advice section might be a good place to start a thread about your predicament...

    Lex
     
    #17 Lexington, Sep 22, 2008
  18. jason1111

    jason1111 Guest

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    Hey Lex, you seem really confident where you always that way or did you have to work on it?
     
    #18 jason1111, Sep 23, 2008
  19. EM68

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    Hey Jason, you may wanted to to see if there is a PFLAG group in your area. I have not too much into support groups but I found that it very helpful. In the group I go to there is a lot of people with different points of views. I went last night and there was a couple of parents of gay children, all at different stages of acceptance. Plus there were a couple of gay and lesbian people. Hope it goes well. Plus you have us!
     
    #19 EM68, Sep 23, 2008
  20. jason1111

    jason1111 Guest

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    thanks, I don't know how much I'm into support groups but I don't know any other gay men. I like EC but it's not in person just on the web.
     
    #20 jason1111, Sep 23, 2008
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