So, just registered, brand new and this is the first entry. My conundrum is confusing and complicated. The short version is that I think the best relationship I could be in is with both a man and a woman where all three of us loved one another. I don't even know where to begin with that. And there are childhood traumas that have recently surfaced that have given me doubts about who I am vs. who I was molded to be. I don't even know if I can distill my thoughts into a question to post. My relationships have always been with women, but I want to try one with a man. Don't know where to start with that one, and I don't know if that will change my preference. Time will tell, and hopefully there is some advice floating around these forums that will benefit me. Any thoughts?
Hi there and welcome to EC. I know there are people out there who feel they want and need to be with a man and a woman together in a relationship, so don't feel like you are the only one..I think it is a difficult thing though to find someone who is willing to share you with someone else as it takes a very specific type of person to be willing to be in that kind of poly relationship.
Hi, and welcome. If I'm reading between the lines correctly, there may be sexual abuse in your past and you have concerns about whether the abuse may have changed your sexual orientation. If that is a concern, what I can tell you is that of all the credible literature out there, nowhere is there any credible evidence of that occurring. We know that boys who are sexually abused may become sexually active earlier, and may question their sexual orientation earlier as a result of the abuse, but from everything we know, the abuse itself does not appear to affect orientation, which is believed to be fixed very early in life if not before birth. Moving on to the question about relationships... particularly given a history of sexual trauma (if I'm inferring correctly), it would be much more important to explore and process that issue first -- which can take a good chunk of time in therapy -- before you can really get a clear picture of what you want in a relationship. Unresolved trauma resulting from early childhood sexual abuse will, without therapy, make it *very* difficult to sustain a healthy relationship, let alone the complications of a polyamorous relationship. If it feels comfortable to do so, please feel free to share more about what you're thinking, and what brought you to that perception. This is also a safe place to discuss sexual abuse if you feel comfortable doing so. You can also PM me if you like, as that is an area I have worked with a number of people in.
Hi and welcome to EC.. Oh man, it's pretty tough to aspire to be with both a man and a woman. Somebody will eventually get hurt along the way. Try having a boyfriend and if in the end being with both a man and a woman is what you really want then I suggest you look for somebody who's been successful in that kind of set up. Good luck brotha.(!)
