I just f**king can't!

there is nothing wrong with being a lesbian

 

Hi there Hun and welcome first of all.

I agree, there is nothing wrong with being a lesbian and only being attracted to women. Don't feel pressured to be with a man because you think that is what everyone expects of you, just be true to yourself and learn to love yourself as you are, cause being who you are is nothing to be ashamed of at all.

 

my heart goes out to you I think you should really just be firm with your family that you DO NOT LIKE GUYS. its not right for him to be pressuring you to go out with a guy. I would try to understand how hes feeling but make it clear that its not ok what hes doing

 

Hi

 

wait until you can support yourself before you come out if you have to. that's what I am doing. but don't think for a second that it is your fault if they look at you like an "alien" im not sure how you go back into the closet.. but do whatever is best for you. things will get better. I am assuming you are young and still live at home and that can be difficult for coming out if your parents are not supportive. just get on your feet and if they don't accept you for you then you don't need them. hopefully they will come around.

 

Awe sweetie, I can see how and why wanna make your parents and family happy, but what about yourself? Is their happiness more important then your own? I think you need to really look at who you are and begin accepting yourself for who you are first, I respect you wanting to respect your parents, but they should also respect you and who you are as well. I'm sorry you are feeling this way, ~big hugs to you~

 

I totally understand what you mean, but I think it is not your job as their daughter to make them comfortable, they need to accept you for who you are and if you give them false hopes that you are bi or straight by pretending to like guys when you don't and aren't straight or bi, then you are not being true to yourself. He might rather a straight daughter, but what he needs to accept is that he has a gay daughter. It is the same as if your parents dream of you being a Lawyer or doctor or taking over the family business and then what you choose as a profession is something very different.. It is not up to you to be who they want you to be.. It is up to you to show them that you are who you are and there is no changing it and your welcome, I just hope that you are able to be who you are and be happy ~hugs you back~

 

blossom knows whats up

 

Awe thanks mfield

And you are welcome cassiebaby, I am glad I have helped you out a little and I think that is reasonable.. You don't to throw it in his face or make him aware every day of it, but don't be afraid to meet a girl and fall for her if your thinking about how uncomfortable it might be for family. They need to accept you, they just need time to process it all and they may have to go through the process all over again when you do meet a girl and bring her home, but just stay true to who you are and if your parents are okay with it, then they will want you to be happy no matter who you are with.

Maybe when you are ready, when you have accepted yourself a little more, you might wanna have an open and honest conversation bringing up all of your worries and just how you feel. They might not realize how you feel about it all yourself, so it might be an idea to talk about it when and if you are ready, doesn't need to be something you discuss everyday, just to clear the air and get some of the tension to go away of you are all honest and open with each other. (*hug*)

 

I've been in your shoes cassie.. Mainly to do with the fact that you desperately want to like men.. I relate to that all too much! Now that I look at it.. I love women and everything about them and the way they make me feel is like heaven on earth. Why should we be ashamed and hide it?! I know you are hurting right now and wish that things could be easier.. I was suicidal about a year ago and it's not a nice feeling to burden yourself with. So despite everything please don't ever think the way I did. Do not quit keep fighting! Things can't get worse.. They can only get better!

 

Welcome cassiebaby! I want to add that nobody should try to force their opinion upon you. You feel the way you feel. The fact that others may want you to be straight, doesn't make it the right thing to do. It's annoying sometimes, I know, but you are who you are and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. (*hug*)

 

Hello and welcome to EC! :smilewave :welcome: It's a pleasure to meet you .


And don't let others force their beliefs on you. There's nothing wrong with what you are and no one should take that away from you .

 

Don't be silly. Your parents WILL accept you after they finish going through 5 stages of grief.

Make yourself happy instead of making your family happy. Being in a relationship with a man will only make you miserable.

Also, do not expect parents to accept you if you can't accept and love yourself.

 

Hello cassiebay

How long has your father known about your sexuality? It can take a long time for a parent to accept it, sometimes a few years. Please beleive me when I say that him not accepting it is his problem and not yours. But you are right not to run his nose in it. Just be yourself, love yourself and be proud of who you are. Don't let ignorance ruin 'the best years' of YOUR life. (Your best years are actually yet to come :icon_bigg).

I came out in the mid-80s in the UK and I'm guessing that opinions where you are now are similar to the UK back then. Attitudes WILL change with each new generation. My parents are fully accepting now but struggled initially. They love my partner (of 26 years!)

Best wishes