So I'm new to this thread and I have a story to tell. I'm an 8th grader in a small town in South Dakota. I just came out to a few of my friends at a football game on Friday because I was tired of saying I'm straight. They took it well and were excited I guess. But one of them might blab about it to other people even though I told her it was a secret. So anyway later we were in line to get some food at the consession (however you spell it) stand and one of my male friends was in front of us. He asked us if we were dating and I said no. Then my friend who I came out to turned to me and gave me a look signaling me to tell him I was gay. Then my male friend wanted to know what was happening so my other friend told him I was gay. And I was really mad at her because my male friend was kinda hesitant about it. So will she tell more people about this? I don't regret telling her but she seems like she is gonna tell her other group of friends. Loose lips sinks ships and she might sink my ships! What should I do? She's dragging me out of the closet! Sorry for ranting but thanks to all that can help!
Hi and welcome to EC! In this case your male friend brought up the subject of relationships so maybe she felt the need to tell him (even though you had told her not to). However she may not purposefully talk about it unless the subject is brought up so you may be safe in that sense. I don't know her so I'm just guessing. If she does tell other people, maybe you should talk to her again and really insist on the fact it's a secret. Maybe she doesn't realise what she's doing by telling somebody. However, keep in mind that having a friend that spreads the info can be useful because you don't have to come out to every single person in your life individually. Of course I'm assuming you are planning on coming out to everyone at some point. Anyway, I hope this was helpful!
Thanks, Pie! Your information is really helpful. I'll just her that I REALLY don't want anyone to know and if she tells more people, it will hurt our friendship.
Hi and welcome to EC, I think maybe just have a word to her, and let her know that what you told her was in complete confidence and you don't really want other people to know and you want to be the one is in control of telling who you want, when you want.. It is not her or anyone else's information to share, she might be well meaning and trying to help you, but coming out is a very personal thing and something an individual should never feel forced to do or be outed by a well meaning friend before you are ready to. Ask her to put herself in your shoes, and if it was the other way around, would she appreciate you blabbing it to everyone.. People I find understand more when you turn it around and ask them to put themselves into your shoes and gather a glimpse of what it would feel like.
It's a pleasure to meet you too! ---------- Post added 21st Sep 2014 at 07:05 PM ---------- Wow really helpful(!) she'll understand now. ---------- Post added 21st Sep 2014 at 07:06 PM ---------- I'll update tomorrow on what's been going on.
When I saw the title of this thread, I (as a gay man) laughed out loud. Had a picture in my head. To get serious, though, I'm sorry you have these worries. Unless you want to come out to everyone at once, it is very important to be able to trust the people you do tell. I hope things will be OK for you.
You are welcome, glad to be of some help for you, I hope it all goes well when you do talk to her about it.
Well the good news is they haven't told anybody! But here's da bad news. So at lunch today I sat with my staight (that I'm aware of) male friends and one of them was having a conversation about something and all of a sudden he said that he was homophobic! I haven't come out to this group of friends yet so they dont know yet. Another guy at our table likes to refer to bad things as gay. And another thought it would be wierd if I was gay. Guess I won't be coming out to these guys.
