But I am going to try... I think. You can call me Kotori, or Tori if you like. I am 16. I was born in Ireland and have lived here my whole life. I go to an all girl school. I have never liked boys as more than friends, and some days I don't feel like a girl at all. (If I was a boy, my name would be Jack. Which might explain some of my thoughts when coming up with a username.) It took me quite a while to work up the courage to actually create an account here, and I haven't really introduced myself until now. I never know what to say... I am very shy around strangers but I am quite loud and have a sense of humor once you get to know me. I love art and writing and this year I just started my first web comic. I am a huge anime and manga fan (my comic is in that style), and I love gaming and cosplay. I watch a lot of Anime, Doctor Who, Sherlock, Elementary, Marvel, Star Trek and Adventure Time. I also read a lot. I want to study Film in college. (in two years...) Now my story, I guess. Growing up, I was very sheltered. I grew up in a house away from neighbors, and I was happy to be alone most of the time. At primary school I only ever had two friends and one moved school. My father is an alcoholic and never cared for me, the only one who ever looked out for me was my mum. They divorced when I was 11 and my mum took me and my little sister (who was 6 at the time) to live with her and my grandfather in my grandfather's house. My grandmother was very ill at the time, she had a stroke and would never leave hospital. My mother wanted to take care of my grandfather. I had to change from my small mixed-gender private school to a large all-girl national school, where my class was 3 times as big as my old one. And full of very bubbly, noisy girls, which terrified me, I was uncomfortable around such a large number of people. At my old school, my only friend was a boy and I was used to hanging around with a group of boys. Other girls thought I was "weird" and didn't want to be near me. I was in 5th class. And for the two years I spent in that school. I was extremely shy, and only made one friend. Never talked to anybody else. Today I am still friends with her and that girl is the greatest friend I have ever had. After those two years of silent hell in that frightening school. I went into my first year of secondary school. My best friend for life at my side. My grandfather passed away the night before my first day and I missed the first week and a half of school. He was the closest to a father figure I ever had, and I loved him very much. I went back to school determined not to miss anything. That first Year was hard. I was bullied by a group of girls and people in my Year (It was an all girl school) asked me repeatedly if I was "lesbian". I said "No" every time in a panic, I didn't have a clue what a lesbian was and it felt like a witch-hunt. That Year I found out what a period was, and what a lesbian was. I was 13. I made a small group of fantastic friends and am now in my second last Year in this awful school. Only since last Year (4th Year - age 15) have I been questioning my sexuality. My friends are all straight and no one is openly gay in our town. People are very secretive and there is a lot of bullying. I still am not sure of who I am. I have never dated anyone, I have never even kissed anyone, boy, or girl. But I know I love girls. I have only come out to my mom and my sister (she is 11 now), and my 2 best friends. I don't think I can openly come out to everyone until I am in college. I don't feel safe coming out in this school... and I lack the confidence to completely come out. ... So that's my story... Feel free to talk to me if you want.
Hi kotori! I'm new here too. I too am very shy around new people but when you get to know the true side of me I'm crazy and off the walls! It sucks being the outcast, but here, you won't be.
Hiya, and welcome to EC! Your avatar's awesome. I'm also from a small-ish town- about a 45 minutes away is St. Louis, though. I'm glad your mom and your best friend is supportive. I know that that's a huge relief, even when other people aren't supportive. I'm kind of shy IRL as well, but I also know how great it is to have a small group of amazing friends rather than a large group of okay ones. Anyways, welcome! I hope we can you any way we can! (*hug*)
Hey!! I'm sorry that your schools so crappy. I too am from a small town, But mine doesn't sounds as out spoken about things they don't like. They just tend to give judgmental stares. Well best of luck! Contact me if you wanna talk or something!
:smilewave Hi there Tori, welcome to EC, I think your introduction was done beautifully, I am glad you finally feel like you have got the courage to start posting. This site has been a big help to me and everyone I have come across has been very helpful and supportive and very friendly, so please don't feel shy or scared to post or respond to anything you feel resonates with you. I hope to see you around the board
Thanks. I am always really awkward around people I don't know... but I am hyper around my friends. ---------- Post added 23rd Sep 2014 at 10:09 PM ---------- Thanks. I made it on a game. It is supposed to resemble me... kinda. :lol: Small towns can be tough, because everybody seems to know everybody...:rolle: Yeah, I don't know how I would ever cope without them... Small groups of amazing friends have saved my life. Anyways, Thank you! (*hug*) ---------- Post added 23rd Sep 2014 at 10:23 PM ---------- They aren't the worst. Some are just really intrusive, and others are bitchy and the rest just kind of keep to themselves and silently judge. And yes, the stares of judgement. A lot of other schools here are way way worse. Thank you! (*hug*)
Welcome to EC, it's nice to have you on board. If you think about it, you've experienced a lot of upheaval over the past few years and that's not good for someone of your age. You had to move and the stability you previously enjoyed went with it, so there is not wonder you have struggled to deal with things. I'm pleased you've posted an introduction and began the process of talking about how you feel. A good many members of EC struggle with confidence, so you are certainly not alone in feeling a little shy. Remember, this is a safe place where people try to help and support.
Thanks. ---------- Post added 23rd Sep 2014 at 11:16 PM ---------- Thanks. Your username is epic by the way. Hello! :icon_bigg ---------- Post added 23rd Sep 2014 at 11:18 PM ---------- Thank you so much. (*hug*) ---------- Post added 23rd Sep 2014 at 11:23 PM ---------- Hello! I love your avatar by the way. *TARDIS noises* ---------- Post added 23rd Sep 2014 at 11:26 PM ---------- Thanks!
Hey mate :icon_bigg Think your bad at introductions? I've been sitting here for five minutes trying to think of something nice to say without sounding like an idiot. :bang: Anyhow hey :smilewave
I guess I have, it has been almost 5 years since I moved, and I still am not on speaking terms with my dad. He visits my house every Saturday to see my sister, which is nasty for me but she loves to see him, so I just deal with it and pretend that he isn't there. Thank you. For a long time I just bottled up whatever I felt, only 2 years ago when I was at my worst (self-harming), did I admit that I had to talk to someone. I've seen a therapist for a while (not any more) and I am still sorting my thoughts out now, but I have a more positive outlook on things. ---------- Post added 23rd Sep 2014 at 11:56 PM ---------- :lol: Sounds just like me. I am finding it hard to reply to comments without just saying "thanks" and nothing else. And I still sound like an idiot. Hey
