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I am not sure

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by Hopered, Oct 9, 2014.

  1. Hopered

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    Hi guys, I am a Chinese girl who is studying abroad. I don't know how much you know about Chinese culture, but for me it's shame to admit that you're homosexual. and all of this kind of brainwashing worked so well to our parents who have zero tolerance to it. But it's natural, right? we are born that way. Sometimes I just feel so unfair what people thinking about homosexual people. and what made me even more pissed off is that I have to agree with them to hide my secret. Recently, lots of my friends got married and this made my parents anxious. They give me so much stress lately. I don't know what to do. Since my English is just so so, i don't know if i express myself well. I am so negative and confused right now.
     
  2. lb41974

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    Welcome to EC we are glad you are here!! I agree it is bad that you have to hide . I am not sure what to tell you to do I am sorry :frowning2: just know that I am here if you ever need or want to talk or even just vent please feel free to talk to me anytime
     
  3. Blossom85

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    Hi there and Welcome to EC,

    I think this is a wonderful place for you to be, I hope you stay and keep posting with us, it is a very supportive and friendly bunch of people here.
     
  4. Hopered

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    TKS, it's glad to have a platform to release and human beings need to belong to something (community/society), right? tks again.

    ---------- Post added 10th Oct 2014 at 06:50 PM ----------

    tks, and it helps in some ways, cause i never talked about it before, it's a big and also, if i can say, a dangerous step for me.
     
  5. DarkestDream

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    Hello and it's nice to meet you! :slight_smile:

    This is a safe place to be to talk about how you feel, without being judged. Please feel free to share when you can, there are many people here who are understanding.
     
  6. Hopered

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    yea, this is what i need right now, i feel i almost lost my belief and courage to live somehow.
     
  7. Blossom85

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    I can understand you would feel it's a dangerous step for you and I hope you feel this is a safe place for you to be.
     
  8. happydavid

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  9. lukeluvznicki13

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    Greetings and Welcome! :welcome: :smilewave :eusa_danc (*hug*)
     
  10. resu

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    Hello! I can understand your fears. My parents are from India, so there is a really huge pressure to get married and have kids, especially because I'm an only child. I can't imagine the pressure you have a Chinese woman due to the one-child policy. My advice is just to remember it's your life, not your parents' or grandparents'. Getting married may be easy in the short term, but you'll hate yourself in the long run. Luckily we live in an era where gay rights are coming even to socially conservative countries like China. I've talked to an American guy living there, and he says one of the challenges is that there is a huge hookup culture since so many are in the closet, but you will still be able to find a special girl, if you want, that will make things worth it. Try to get some LGBT friends. They helped me a lot more than straight friends in giving concrete support.
     
  11. black-cat

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    Hello there and welcome to Empty Closets.

    Your English is very good so far, so try not to worry! It sounds like you are in a bad situation, I am sorry that you are confused and that your culture and family are unsupportive of the LGBTQ community. You did good joining though, well done!
     
  12. Candace

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    Hello and welcome to EC! :smilewave :welcome: It's a pleasure to meet you :slight_smile:

    By the way, as a native speaker, your English is really really good :grin: (!) (!)
     
  13. Hopered

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    tks, I am trying

    ---------- Post added 11th Oct 2014 at 04:50 PM ----------

    tks, and it means a lot to me, especially now when I am still struggling in my own little world.

    ---------- Post added 11th Oct 2014 at 05:12 PM ----------

    tks for your support. actually, being honest to myself is a huge step and i believe there is no way my parents could understand any of this. It is not generation gap or whatever it is, the truth is they subjectively deny the fact that their little girl is different from the others. In Chinese culture, being different is sort of dangerous. so for me, listening to my heart and trying accept who i really am are essential.
     
  14. TboyB

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    That must be horrible to know your parents don't accept it, are you planning on moving abroad in the future??

    What are the gay rights (if any) like out there?
     
  15. Hexagon

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    Welcome to EC
     
  16. Hyperbol

    Hyperbol Guest

    Hi, welcome to EC, this site is awesome and people here are very supportive so you don't have to hiding the truth. I'm not Chinese but we share the same base of culture so I know how it feels like if you're a homosexual individual inside Asian society. Hope you will find the way to out soon.
     
  17. Otaku2014

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    Welcome, you can be yourself here and no one will judge you for it. Enjoy you time on EC
    Josi~
     
  18. Fandom obsessed

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    I am so sorry for your situation! And I'm here if you ever need to talk! And it's nice to meet another otaku!!
     
  19. Hungry

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    Welcome to EC :slight_smile:

    I'm sorry for what you are going through - it's unfortunate that you just happened to be born or raised in that part of the world and feel that you have to repress your situation. The small positive is that found a forum here where your free to express yourself without consequence.

    I think a lot of people face the same rejection from friends and family in more liberal western areas but its even harder on many other levels in countries the further East you go.

    Its so ingrained in the culture, being common place to shame and reject people from communities, careers and freedom of expression and that's before you get into the abuse, torture and violence experienced by some who choose to not be totally repressed in certain parts of Asia.

    Obviously its not all Asian countries and I've had experiences of tolerance and acknowledgement but culture and the adherence of social norms and traditions is so vital in some areas that its just not worth the hassle and I've never been to China but I personally would never express any kind of preference there so my heart goes out to you.

    Feel free to message me anytime you like :slight_smile:
     
  20. Hopered

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    i am not sure actually. you can't keep running forever, right? plus supporting parents when they get old is one of Chinese child's obligation.

    ---------- Post added 12th Oct 2014 at 04:56 PM ----------

    yea, i agree with you, cultural influence is rooted in China and we all like prisoners behind bars.