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New to Much - Agender Trans ?

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by leebug, Oct 15, 2014.

  1. leebug

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    Hi everyone, glad to have found a group that seems to welcoming. I'm kind of nervous to post about this.

    Every time I have started writing here since I joined a few weeks ago all I keep thinking is that I'm lost.

    I am a panromantic asexual and consider myself something between gender neutral and genderqueer. The last thing is what has been really hard lately. I've finally gotten really comfortable with my identity, no longer letting myself feel pressured to accept gender roles pushed on me or that I have to be one or the other. But I'm having a harder time dealing with the fact that others in my life don't see it this way.

    I am married to an ace partner who is very accepting, he considers himself out and proud queer and has been an active supporter of LGBTA rights since before I met him and he's great listener but it ends there, he never has any input or advice on problems, he doesn't know how to relate his own experiences to someone else's, and kind of just thinks people should figure things out for themselves :slight_smile: That's cool to some extent but I really wish I had some feedback on problems sometimes instead of just sympathetic nods.

    I'm starting to even get frustrated with simple forms that require Mr/Mrs/Ms and have no other option or being called with a gender-specific honorific like those in public. I've let it run through my mind a few times what it would be like to mutilate myself because I know due to health problems I have that doctors would not approve elective surgery to make my body fit my gender identity better. I know this is terrible but I think it shows how strongly the dysphoria is affecting me.

    I tried to bring my feelings of not fitting in the male nor female category up to a psychiatrist I've seen and he just told me I am "not a genderless creature" and kind of brushed it off. So obviously he's not the right person to help me with something like this.

    I'm not looking for advice in the form of suggesting steps in any particular direction at this moment but for now it would really be great just to be able to talk to other people who experience this, to know what you've been through and how you've gotten to where you are on your path, and tips for dealing with being stuck like this. There are some in the ace community who identify as agender/genderless/gender-neutral but I don't know any who have expressed being so bothered by their body and imposed gender not fitting their identity that they wish they could transition.

    Thanks for reading. Hope I didn't accidentally break any rules, was a lot to read :wink:

    leebug
     
  2. Paul6089

    Paul6089 Guest

    Hi and welcome!
     
  3. leebug

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    Hi, Paul :slight_smile:
     
  4. lb41974

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    Hello and welcome to EC . I am sure that you will love it here there is a great bunch of people here !!
     
  5. wolf of fire

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    Hello and welcome to EC, feel free to message me if you need help with anything or want to chat.
     
  6. SomeLeviathan

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    hi. I'm also genderless. I found this a little while ago and I pass it aound when people ask about mt gender identuty http://sjwiki.org/wiki/Genderless

    I've socially transitioned to new name and "they/them/their" pronouns. feel free to leave a message on my wall if you'd like to talk more about being agender
     
  7. Candace

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    Hello and welcome to EC! :smilewave :welcome: It's a pleasure to meet you :slight_smile:
     
  8. Paul6089

    Paul6089 Guest

    Hi and welcome!
     
  9. Hexagon

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    Welcome to EC
     
  10. leebug

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    Hey, thanks for the kind welcome, everyone.

    SomeLeviathan, The link you shared was cool, and will be useful when I'm completely out. Was going to message you but still restricted, oops.

    Right now I'm considering talking to some transition doctors even though I doubt they would do surgery for me. I feel so uncomfortable in this body, I don't even want to take care of the parts that make me a specific sex, do you know what I mean? I know that's awful but I have found some trans-specific healthcare places in my area and have been reading their websites and there is some stuff that seems so full of understanding I at least feel a little better, teared up once.

    Sorry for the rambling. :slight_smile: I'd be interested hearing about other agenders'/gender-neutrals' identity (realizing, coming out, transition if any) but just knowing someone else like me has reached out helps so much.

    Thanks again.

    lee

    ---------- Post added 19th Oct 2014 at 06:20 AM ----------

    I also legally changed my name but I think a lot of people don't realize that it was for a gender-neutral one. I guess that's ok though, it will make sense when I am all out and for now as long as it is one I am comfortable it it's cool.
     
  11. Blossom85

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    Hi there and Welcome to EC,

    This is a wonderful site, I hope you enjoy being here.
     
  12. jay777

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  13. lovely lesbian

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  14. happydavid

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  15. DarkestDream

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    Hello! Sorry for my late greeting, it's nice to meet you! :slight_smile: :smilewave