Hello! I'm currently living through a 'I can't ignore the fact I'm gay' time...this will pass in a few days or weeks and I'll happily (kinda?) go back to living as a 'straight' girl. This has been happening on and off for four years. Every few days or weeks I get this rush of feelings which I can't shake, this knowledge of living a lie. Unfortunately though, I never plan on coming out - I will just never be that brave - so why I've joined a site called 'empty closets' I don't know haha! I thought I'd introduce myself anyway because I need to 'talk'. Just to get it out there a bit.
Welcome!! I felt exactly like you, however I am in the process of accepting myself. I know my sexuality, but I have 'those' days where I feel like it would be easier on myself if I somehow got out of this bubble, but then I realise there is no way out, because it is me. You need to figure yourself out. Experiment with your emotions and accept yourself. This is why you are here, so you should soon find out, because you have passed the hard part of actually admitting to yourself and making an account. Now all you need to do is carry on your journey to self-discovery. Good Luck!
Welcome to EC! Same thing happened to me. Every year, I've been going from bisexual to straight. Last year, I made it official, realizing im bi.
Hi. You sound a lot like me when I started questioning my sexuality. I used to think it wasn't real and that I would stop thinking about it eventually and date guys. Once you notice how attractive the ladies are, you can't go back. I'm not saying that to scare you, just that once you accept yourself you'll feel much better about everything.
Hahaa "once you start noticing how attractive the ladies are". Very true! Unfortunately, my courage peeked when I was 18 (three years ago) and I was brave enough to tell a couple of friends and colleagues. But the three people I told were either gay themselves or, the other friend I told, was just very accepting and I knew that before telling her. Anyway, a few months of umming and ahhing later and I bottled it and just told them "oh no, I was confused..." and now here I am. Three years later. Now I feel like I can't go back, I feel too old to be dropping this bombshell at 21. I have too much to lose. URG, I sometimes wish I could just up and move to another country and start afresh. But, I love my family far too much to do that. Newbie question: What are the 'chat rooms' and why can't I use them? ---------- Post added 29th Oct 2014 at 10:37 PM ---------- Also, I've got out of my way to be 'straight'. I've never given anyone any reason to believe i'm anything but straight because I was (and am I guess?) so determined to not be gay. I'm cautious of sounding disrespectful or offensive and I hope you realize that isn't my intention at all. I just know that my life would be so much easier if I were straight. Easy marriage, easy to have children, easy social acceptance, personal acceptance, familial acceptance. It seems mad to choose the harder life (not saying LGBT is a choice, I'm saying coming is a choice) when I can so convincingly and (semi)happily live a straight life. Hope this makes sense!
I actually felt the exact same way myself! Honestly, the feeling of living a lie and needing to tell someone just got worse and worse until I just kinda had to let it out... So I started telling people, and have been a lot happier since; although I still feel like I won't ever be out to everyone I know, but that's how I'm comfortable. I feel like my sexuality isn't really anyone else's business; and that if people weren't so prone to assuming I was straight, coming out wouldn't be an issue in the first place! But hey, good luck with everything, and welcome to EC!
You're so right. I can't wait until a time when people don't have to 'come out'. You just say who you love (if anyone!) and that's that, regardless of gender or identity.
Thank you! Do any of you have any opinions on coming out via letter? I've just dug out the 'coming out' letter I intended to give to my mum when I was 17 or 18 (it actually made me very emotional to read) and whilst I'm in no frame of mind now to give her it (or an updated version) I was wondering what you guys think about that? Is it a fair way to do it?
Welcome to EC! :welcome: From what I've seen, there's a lot of people here, myself included, that felt the exact same way you did when we were in the questioning stage. We're a pretty open, non-judgmental group of people here that just happen to be LGBT, so don't be afraid to ask anyone for any advice or if you just want someone to talk to.
Well hey! And welcome to EC. As this sites resident RentHead, I welcome you on behalf of all the theatre people here. If you need anything, feel free to message me or any of the staff here. Enjoy, and explore what I has learned to call home. Your Friend, B
