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In denial too long. Woman (married to a man)

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by ChasingPavement, Nov 4, 2014.

  1. ChasingPavement

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    Hi. I just found my way here finally after turning up empty on a ton of google searches trying to find somewhere to relate. I think I've always been into women, and even explored it prior to getting married, but I did the "safe thing". My husband doesn't know. We have two kids. Been together about 10 years. I had a lightbulb moment while he and I were together a few nights ago. It's not like I met someone that triggered this. I wouldn't even know how to meet someone. I feel like I'm spinning out of control. But with an odd sense of clarity. For the first time in my life.

    I don't want to split up my family. But I don't want to cover my whole self. So lost.
     
  2. Melanie

    Melanie Guest

    Welcome. Yes... that moment of clarity. I had that and for me it has been a rollercoaster of certainty and doubt ever since. I know what I am... who I am. Ive always known. It just feels a lot safer these days to come out with it.

    I wish you the best of luck. You'll find a lot of support here.
     
  3. GreenMan

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    Hey, welcome to EC.
     
  4. jay777

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    Hello and welcome :slight_smile:

    Take part... ask questions... people like to help


    (&&&)

    You might think about counseling...
    You might have a look at other threads, if you want to... and open one of your own... there are quite a few others in similar positions...

    (*hug*)
     
    #4 jay777, Nov 5, 2014
    Last edited: Nov 5, 2014
  5. lukeluvznicki13

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    Greetings & Welcome :thumbsup: :smilewave :welcome:
     
  6. Paul6089

    Paul6089 Guest

    Hi and welcome to EC!
     
  7. Candace

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    Hello and welcome to EC! :smilewave :welcome: It's a pleasure to meet you :slight_smile:
     
  8. ChasingPavement

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    Thanks everyone :slight_smile:
     
  9. happydavid

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  10. Blossom85

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    Hi there and welcome to EC,

    I hope you like it here, it's really supportive and friendly.
     
  11. ChasingPavement

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    24 hours in and I already feel like it's my escape zone. Well when I can put my browser on private after my husband has gone to bed... Quick question is there a quick spot to be able to get back to the threads your have commented on without actively clicking subscribe?
     
  12. jay777

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    You can go on your profile ->statistics->Find all posts by ...

    for communicating with others, you can message on their walls... later you can become a full member, more here:
    http://emptyclosets.com/forum/empty-closets-help-feedback/154441-messages.html

    :slight_smile:
     
  13. YermanTom

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    I'm a gay guy married to a woman.
    I too did the "safe thing" I know what you mean when you talk about the “light bulb” moment. :bulb:
    I love my wife very dearly, but I’m just not into “lady bits” :***:
    Attending a support group for gay married men is a huge support for me. I hope you can find a support group for yourself. I’m new on this site, I hope this site will be a supportive refuge. (&&&)
    Feel free to message me!
     
  14. ladywithquestio

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    Just chiming in to send well wishes.... I am familiar with that denial, oh yes indeed. I'm newly returning to this site myself but am finding it a help. Best wishes to you.
     
  15. resu

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    Welcome! IMO, too long is waiting to come out when you're dead. So anything before that is long enough. :wink:
     
  16. Morgan22

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    I think my light bulb moment has come over and over and over...then I turn the light bulb off out of fear. I'm past denial now. It's scary but I also feel better about myself, about being me, than I did, now that I'm not pretending with myself even if I don't know how to be 'out' to many others yet. I hope being out of denial leads to life for you.
     
  17. ChasingPavement

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    Morgan. It hasn't her. Because I'm not out to anyone. Not even my husband. Not sure how to go about that one. Gah. I can barely make female friends let alone something more. So this is going to be a long long journey.
     
  18. Tea Leaf

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    Hello! I'm new here too and I can identify. Married for about a decade now but no kids. I think doing the "safe thing" is part of why I got married so young. Glad to see many other married people here!
     
  19. LittleWriter

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    Hello! And good luck! <3
     
  20. one and only

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    Hello welcome to EC :smilewave