Hello all! My name is Tanglewood, and this is my welcome post. I have always struggled to express myself, and have been looking online for quite some time now for a community that might be able to offer me some support. I have been struggling with my sexuality for years, and feel now is the time I need to change for the better, or I will be lonely and bitter for the rest of my life. I am 21, and a lesbian. I have been out for a couple of years now, and although I received mostly positive reactions, I still can’t seem to feel comfortable in my own skin. I am not a homophobe, but when it comes to looking at myself, I am disgusted that I am this way. I feel I have made everything so much harder for myself. I am angry with myself as if I chose to be this way, although I know there is nothing I could do to change it. It upsets me that I will never have a ‘traditional family’. I do feel like I have let down my parents. I have no close gay friends, and I really have no idea how to go about accepting who I am. I am lonely, and I want to let people in. I have so much love in my heart, and no one to share it with. I have never let myself associate with other lesbians, as I am so uncomfortable in my own skin, and am deathly afraid of rejection. It has taken me 21 years to find the drive to create some self worth. Because of this, I have never had a real relationship. I was too disgusted in who I was to let that happen. There has been people which I could have pursued a relationship with, but I wouldn’t allow myself to. I wouldn’t even allow myself to form friendships. And now I fear other gay women won’t want me because I am so unexperienced. I don’t know how to talk to women. I don’t know how to be gay. It is going to be long journey to improve my self image. And I really don’t want to find anyone until I am finished with the self healing process, but when I am there, I want to be a confident gay women. Which is why I am here. :help: Apologies for the long post. I have no one in my life I can't vent to, so I am really hoping to find some support here (&&&)
(*hug*) i see my self as flubby too of course alot of people say im pretty and stuff if you want maybe i could help you with emotional support (is as clueless as you) i guess we have to be nice and snuggly together -purrs- :icon_redf ---------- Post added 7th Nov 2014 at 10:28 PM ---------- I never kissed or dated a girl in my life or even screwed one less you count that one time when i was 4 when my baby sitter told me to lick her boobs and vulva saying there was milk T_T and there was none true story
