Hi, my name is Emily and I recently joined EC. I thought I would share my story so I can gain clarity on my sexual orientation through getting feedback from other people who are in similar positions as me. I am 19 and came out as bisexual to a large group of friends just over four months ago. I always knew that I was attracted to girls, both sexually and emotionally, but I always struggled with how I feel about guys. I look at boys and think some are good looking and cute. I also like the attention I get from boys and how they make me feel protected. This past year I have been thinking a lot about my sexuality and I began to question whether I like hooking up with boys because it makes me feel normal or because I am genuinely sexually attracted to them. This is something I have yet to figure out. Here is where the story gets interesting.. after me coming out as bisexual, I was approached by a friend asking if I could have a threesome with her and her boyfriend. Immediately I said no seeing as I just came out and hadn't even kissed a girl yet. sure enough, we were at someone's cottage, we were both drunk and she asked if she could kiss me. The following weekend, after more drinking, I ended up having the threesome. I won't get into details but this definitely helped me in my sexual orientation identification; I realized that I definitely like girls. It also may be important to note that much of the kissing involved was between her and I and that I was much more turned on by her than I have ever been by any boy. I am still, however, conflicted about how I feel about boys and need further clarification with that. I want to trust my instincts (which tell me that I'm not attracted to guys) considering I had correctly determined that I was attracted to girls prior to even kissing one! I struggle with being different and saying the word lesbian totally freaks me out. I feel like, by saying that I'm bisexual, I am still holding onto normalcy. I fit the profile of a straight girl. I like girly things, I straighten my hair, do my nails and act just as all my straight friends do. After telling my close friends that I'm bisexual, they either thought I was doing it for attention or was just taking my slight attraction to girls way too far. I was so concerned about other people accepting me and my sexual orientation that I forgot to think if I would accept myself. On one hand I think i'm fully and only into girls, but on the other hand, I feel wrong for liking girls and feel much more comfortable expressing my interest in boys. This is why I don't know if i'm genuinely bisexual or if I actually am a lesbian and am just in denial. I would love to hear what you guys have to say, any feedback is welcome! It would also be great to know that other people are going through similar situations and to know that i'm not alone. Thanks for reading!
Hi Emily. Which label are you most comfortable with? That is the only thing that counts. Not who you sleep with, and not who people think you are. You get to decide how you express your sexuality. If you think you are Bi then you get to decide how you express it. I dated a Lesbian once who went and got a boyfriend. She still called herself a Lesbian, so you see, it is entirely up to you. Good luck and welcome.
Well.. You sound just like me a few years ago. I wanted so badly to hold onto convincing myself I was bisexual because it somehow made me feel normal. I actually figured out boys had nothing to offer to me besides fertility and women were everything i look for in a partner. I love everything about girls and think they're so cute. You could be in denial or you could simply just be denying your complete attraction to women. Either way you should not pressure or stress yourself out over it. And I love kissing girls by the way they're so soft and gentle. They make cute moans when you kiss their neck too.
Hello and welcome to EC! :welcome: :smilewave I think that you could post this under the Support area specifically in the gender and identity section. I feel like you'll receive more accurate and helpful responses
its nice to meet you! dont rush yourself and give yourself plenty of time when figuring out your sexuality. dont doubt yourself and just listen to your feelings
Hi there and welcome to EC, I think it's a hard thing to know when you have only just starting questioning yourself and who you are and sadly no one expect yourself can know this and make the decision as to if you wanna be labelled as anything or not.. It's hard when you just want answers and don't know, but the thing is.. It's gotta come from you.. We can tell you what we think or our opinions.. But ultimately it's your decision.. This site should help you in coming to terms with it and adjusting to it though..
