So I guess I'm Bi, what now?

TL;DR: woman in love with a man, figured out I'm Bi via repressed memories; unable to cope because of childhood abuse. Boyfriend also screwed up- seeking help and advice.

Actual story:

21, female. Been with boyfriend for 3 years. He helped me escape my loving, abusive family. Been living away from them for a full month. Took me about two weeks after I left for repressed memories to show up and make me realize that I was in love with my best friend of 13 years who was a girl. Shit happened and our friendship ended in flames and I haven't spoken to her in five years.
Also because of some other shit that happened to me as a kid, I wasn't able to be intimate with ANYONE when I was growing up. If anyone tried to touch me aside from kissing, I would freak out and start crying and push away.
I couldn't think about girls as attractive because I felt the leftover effects of what happened to me as a little kid (long story, if anyone's actually wants to know, i'll write it in the comments later).
If I thought a girl was attractive, I'd start panicking and feel like I was a bad person.
I used to be in love with my best friend though...
Sex frightens me. Sexual thoughts of me and someone of the same gender terrify me. I've never had a problem with gay people being in love though, maybe because deep down I understood.

Conversely my boyfriend (who I love dearly and can actually be intimate with now) was molested as a child and has been hyper-sexual I guess. He is comfortable with the thought of casual sex, whereas I am not. He has been with a lot of girls, not always having full on sex etc. He's a sexual person and it's just something he needs. He thinks he could be at least somewhat bisexual as well though because he has no problem with the thought of going down on another guy, but feels disgust if he thinks about kissing one. Whereas I could kiss and hold and cuddle with a girl, but I feel ashamed and dirty if I think about sex. Psychologically, it's interesting how different our mental dynamics are.
From a living standpoint however, we'd like a peace of mind and some way to work through the things we're figuring out about ourselves. We may get some counseling when we can afford it, but in the meantime, we need help.

What does this mean? How can we get over these feelings? We love each other and are talking about getting married, but we want to work on ourselves first.

PS we are in a mutually exclusive relationship. While experimenting may be on the table for him, and we trust each other, it feels too much like cheating to me.