Hi all, It took me a few days before I actually decided to write down an introduction .. For sure it needs some level of courage to at least come out in the virtual world too. I'm a married gay man with kids (2) one adult and the other is a teenager, I'm 49. I knew that I'm attracted to other men early on, around 6-7th grade, but I was raised in the middle east (north Africa) and it wasn't acceptable to be that way. I moved to North America in the late 90s, and lived in the US since. I'm still a very conservative person. I fought my thoughts for a long time, fell in love (one sided) with my best male friend in college, never kissed a man or a woman till I got married (27), had struggles with my marriage sexually and socially, have been browsing the internet for years (since internet came to life!) for virtual friends and porn ...etc. And I found many others with the same background here which really encouraged me to join the group. An arranged marriage was the beginning of all suffering I'm living till today. Although I approved it then, I thought it'll "fix" my sexual orientation, but now I regret it hard. My decision to get married when I knew that I wasn't attracted to women was not correct, because it lead to complicated life situation, many sacrifices from my side, and now, when thinking about separation/divorce, many sufferings for 3 more lives (wife and 2 kids) could happen. I have mixed feelings towards my wife, some are close to hate and others are sympathy .. I don't think that I ever loved her but tried hard, I definitely value the time we spent together as a family and cannot throw more than 20 years of partnership away, but I'm surely missing something. I've never cheated, physically, on my wife, never touched or been touched by another man. I'm glad I found emptyclosets and spent a good time browsing through the forums, it is unique to find supportive non-sex oriented community to talk to. Hopefully my contribution here would be beneficial not only to myself but to others who are in the same situation. Best wishes for all.
Thanks for coming to share your story with us. This is indeed a lovely community, full of people in a variety of sitations, and there is a fantastic forum on here dedicated to older LGBT people, and it's so full of brave people that I can't spend too much time browsing it without wanting to hug everyone. Hope you enjoy it here, and I hope that through here you are able to figure out what you wish to do about your situation (*hug*) best wishes to you and your family.
Welcome to the forums (presumably you've been browsing the Later in Life section...) and thanks for sharing your background with us. I can relate to many aspects as you may already know if you've stumbled on my posts. The only "right answer" is the one that you choose that allows you to live with your own personal integrity, whatever that means to you. You'll find a lot of people here willing to hear you out, ask questions about how you're thinking about things, and generally support you as you come to terms with what your sexuality means for your future. --Rick
Welcome to the forum !!! I know you have found the right place , you are amoung friends and a lot of us are in similar situations and feel your pain ! I am sorry that you are having to go threw this . Please know that we are here to support you . Have a great day and I wish you the best of luck .
Hello and welcome to EC! :smilewave :welcome: It's a pleasure to meet you Thank for you choosing us as we can assure you that it's the right place to be
Thank you all for your supportive replies. How did I miss a site like this? I must have been looking with incorrect keywords all that time!
