hi

So...I'm new here! I have just registered and in the 'Sexual Orientation' I said 'questioning'. But you know, I'm almost sure what I am. But still have hope that i can be what they call to be 'normal'. I know i like girls, really, i loooove women. But sometimes i look at guys and I'm like, 'i wouldn't mind to have something with that handsome..." but i only fall in love with girls...it seems impossible for me to love a man the way i love a woman.By the way, I'm a girl, 18, totaly, completely, absolutely in the closet. I'm not proud or happy with that, but its the truth. I really dont feel prepared to come out, not to my parents or my friends... but some times, i look in the mirror and i say: "you are lesbian! I'm sooo lesbian!"(but in my language), that's something right? my whole family is a little antiquated, they like 'normal' things, 'normal' people...my worry is that I know I would disapoint them. I think they would never kick me out or stop talking to me (cause I know they love me), but it would destroy them. I'm like their big hope for everything, I have an older brother that is the disillution of my mothers life... and she's always telling me how proud of me she is (because I'm a good student, I do everything right), and I know she will be very sad. I'm not ready, but I'm so tired of not having anything, you know? I'm so not out, that I bet no one suspects what I feel, not even my closest friends. Sorry for the long post, sometimes is really hard not having no one to talk about this (I know you all know that):smilewave:help:

 

Thanks, you all seem so cool, I think I'll like it here