Hello. I'm new here, so I guess I need to come out to all of you. I'm 61, and knew that I was gay for as far back as I can remember. I had a brief encounter with a fraternity brother in college, but his roommate threatened to out us if we didn't break off the relationship. I was not ready to risk coming out, so I retreated as far into that closet as I could. I started dating one of my female friends, and we got married right out of college (she knew about the relationship with my frat brother, but we were both convinced that it was only a "phase"). Although we remained married for nearly 40 years and had two wonderful children together, my attraction to men never lessened. My wife passed away last fall, and I have finally decided that I will live my life as I should have been doing for the past 40 years - as an out and proud gay man. But I'm scared to death. How do I even begin? I'm basically a private person, and I don't frequent bars or clubs (gay or straight - in fact I have never even been inside a gay bar). Everything in the gay culture seems to be youth-oriented, and I am way past being considered "buff". I'm planning to attend an "Aging with Pride" meeting at the local LGBT center this week, so maybe I'll meet some folks that I can relate to, and maybe I'll be one step further out the closet door. Wish me luck!
Wow...you sound almost like my twin. Condolences on the passing of your wife. Regardless of orientation, a decades-long relationship and children mean something in your life. Good luck with your efforts to find a friend...not easy at any age, but at our age (I'm 64) it's got to be especially tough. Sorry, I actually don't know from experience as I am still married and not out. Stay with us here on EC, there are always people to talk to and talking helps so much when nothing else either is or can happen. Welcome!!
Welcome! You actually don't need to do much. It's enough to just come out to yourself and those who matter in your life. Going to your LGBT center is great. Also look at non-bar scenes for gay men. I've heard of gay choirs, gay athletic/sports groups, etc. Are you out to your kids? That seems to be a priority.
Thanks for the warm welcome. Getting ready to head out to the LGBT Center now. Resu (or User?), I am not out to the kids yet, and am not sure how or when to go about it. Guess I'll check out some of the other Forums for info and support.
