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My Life is Spiraling Down Hill...

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by KAIDOU, Jan 27, 2015.

  1. KAIDOU

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    Not out at all
    There was a point in time when I thought of myself as a person that didn't care about what my family said about me being a lesbian. Now I either feel really mad when they make gay jokes around me, or I just feel guilty. They happen to be extremelely conservative and homophobic, so when they see people that they believe to be gay, they seem to be disgusted: So just imagine what would happen if I came out. Once they gathered us all in a circle and told us that if we were gay they wouldn't stop talking to us all together, but just disown us (Like it makes a difference.) My two brothers told me that they would cut me off if they found out I was gay, and then proceeded to laugh at the idea of me being gay. So here's the question: should I just cut them off and not tell them I'm gay at all, or come out and just accept the consequences? I really don't know what to do......:help:
     
  2. RemakeJake

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    You've come to the right place, sweetheart. Though I'm probably not old enough to give you the best or most practical advice for this particular situation, I'm always here if you need to talk or vent, and so are the hundreds of others on here (*hug*)
     
  3. doinitagain

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    I feel for you Kaidou. All I can say is that it is their problem and not yours. You can'r live as others want you to live, be yourself and be happy. If now is not teh right time to come out, don't do it.
    Enjoy yourself, find friendship with other LGBT people and find someone to love. You will know when the right time is to tell your family, and when you do you may be surprised by how they respond when it is someone close to them.
     
  4. tulman

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    A very close friend has a gay son. It was obvious that he was probably gay about the time puberty arrived. There was no doubt when he never dated through high school or college. After college he moved to a gay neighborhood. My friend never brought it up in conversation and neither did I. I just figured he didn't want to talk about it. One day his son got sick (not life threatening) and was hospitalized. My friend told me he was concerned because the only other visitors were gay young men. I was floored. My friend was saying he didn't know his son was gay? He was shocked that I had known for years. I think he was just in denial. How could he have not known? I said, "It's no big deal, do you love him any less? He answered, "No". That was years ago. My friend has two other straight kids and they are all close.
    My point is that my friend got over his initial disappointment and loves his gay son as much as the other two straight kids. I think there are a lot of families like that. You are their same flesh and blood. They may not like it but hopefully they will get over it and accept who you are.
     
  5. KAIDOU

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    Thank you everyone for the support!! Your work here is greatly appreciated!!!!!
     
  6. happydavid

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  7. Candace

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    I'm sorry that you've had to go through all of that. If you need any advice or guidance, then I suggest checking the support area here on EC. It's nice to meet you :slight_smile:
     
  8. Psaurus918

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  9. Lear

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    I'm sorry to hear that your family is so unaccepting and value some stupid beliefs higher than the wellbeing of their children. I think sometimes we just have to accept that the people who we assume should love and support us unconditionally are often the ones that hold us down and deny our real self because it doesn't fit their image of the 'perfect' child they had in mind. I cannot really give you any advice on what you should do but I think the most important thing is that you put yourself first and do what you think is right for you, no matter what your family may think about it. You do not owe them anything and in your life your first responsibility and right is to make yourself happy. Don't let them get you down. I hope everything turns out to be ok.