Hello all...

Hello all! Just introducing myself. I am a later in life man who finally opened the door to his closet.

I came out to everyone almost a year ago (April 14) after almost destroying my own life trying to stay in it. I had known I was gay since my teens, but like many in my generation, supressed and denied it. It wasn't until my early 30's that I finally accepted and was comfortable that I was gay. But then with 4 children and a wife, it was a deep and dark and lonely place that only I knew existed.

Well long story, very short, I just couldn't live with the duality anymore. I couldn't supress the true me...I didn't want to supress the true me. It took all my waking energy, every thought, every action, literally every conscious moment was preoccupied with the reality, that only I knew. It wasn't healthy and was destroying my marriage. I was toxic and not a pleasant person to be around.

So I came out. I told my wife on a Monday morning. Lots of crying, lots of uncertainty. The next several weeks were a blur. Family and friends slowly found out, as I told them. Most were very understanding and accepting. My kids (the most important) were wonderful. My parents and sister were all great. Sad, of course, that my wife and my marriage was ending, but very supportive of me. My wife and I remain friendly. Not best friends like we were once, but certainly not enemies.

Now almost one year since coming out, I feel that perhaps I can offer some help back. Maybe a little, maybe more.

Coming out, while sadly ending my marriage, was the most liberating thing, I have ever done in my life. I finally understood the what it meant that you could never be true to others, unless you were true to yourself. Holding that secret in all those years, was a terrible thing to do. I would never want to do it again, and would hope that others, especially those questioning, or certain, but afraid, would not go through the same dark place that I kept myself in.

thanks for letting me ramble on my introduction...and a big hello

Chris