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Confused and feeling alone:/

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by Pintobean, Feb 12, 2015.

  1. Pintobean

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    Hi...I'm a historically straight girl who recently broke up from a long term relationship and found myself sleeping with a female co worker who I feel as though I have fallen in love with. On our third month of dating she told me that she had sex with her beautiful female best friend ( who we meet up with for brunch occasionally and she meets up with alone frequently ). I guess it happened years ago and there are no feelings like that anymore. I don't know how to deal with this information and I don't even know what I am? A bisexual? I come from a very conservative catholic background and I feel like my head is spinning right now and I have no one to talk to. Hoping this site helps:/. Is this pretty normal for dating a lesbian ? Do many have unattached sex and stay friends with these people, I just could not do that myself...too many emotions attached.... Please share your thoughts, thx.
     
  2. jay777

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    (*hug*)
    I'd say calm down and try to relax a bit. :slight_smile:

    Well if you like labels... you might be bi... or gay... but I'd say enjoy your emotions...

    You could have a look here:
    your orientation is not a choice, so its neither your nor your parents upbringing fault..
    Empty Closets - For Parents
    ->The credible scientific literature ...

    and maybe this helps:
    http://emptyclosets.com/forum/chit-...fo-you-got-ec-helped-you-accept-yourself.html

    Well if she knew her friend for a long time its possible it just happened.
    Sometimes the lesbian community is relatively small, and people stay friends after having been in a relationship.

    I would see it as sign of trust that she told you.

    I'd say talk about it all. What you would want from a relationship, what you like on her, your needs, your emotions... you can talk about this in an open and honest way, and it could bring you closer together.

    hugs
     
  3. Pintobean

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    Ok thanks, I really appreciate your response!
     
  4. Michael

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    Hello Pintobean,

    You sound bisexual to me, but that doesn't define you as a human being, it's just a part of your life.

    Don't feel afraid to explore those feelings, and be open to whatever comes your way. There is nothing to be ashamed of, as long as it makes you feel good and you are not hurting anyone.

    Relationships are... Complicated regardless of gender or sexual orientation. Feel free to explore EC's different sections, open your own thread, ask around, browse...

    Feelings are not something to be ashamed of, regardless of what others might think about them. Some religious folks have exactly the same feelings, but they just repress them and condemn others.

    I wish you the best on your personal journey.

    Welcome to EC by the way.
     
  5. Pintobean

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    Thanks so much, you are very welcoming!
     
  6. happydavid

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  7. Pintobean

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    :smilewave hi
     
  8. Run91

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    welcome to EC
     
  9. Pintobean

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  10. LiveLifeGlobal

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    I know how you feel. You're not alone. I guess it's a journey :slight_smile:
     
  11. spockbach

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    It can be so overwhelming! I understand that all too well. It's okay to be uncertain right now. You don't have to know all the answers. Just remember, no matter what you think you might be, you're one hundred percent the same person; this is one part of your life, not your whole life.
     
  12. Feline

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    Hello and welcome, Pintobean!

    I come from a very traditional Catholic family as well, but I was always a bit on the rebel side. I'm not Catholic anymore, I haven't been for many years. Still, I understand that. Some religions tend to deny/condemn the existence of anything else that is not heterosexual and that can cause terrible guilt and confusion, but don't let the negativity overwhelm you. You are not a bad person for being yourself.

    Only you can define yourself as you come to know what you like, what you love, what you need. Regarding sexual orientation and/or identity, here is a general article that you could find helpful.

    Personally, I cannot detach love and sex, I cannot see it as mere entertainment but as an expression of one another, so I can understand the confusion. You should talk to her, just to have things clear, to know what she feels, and her ideology on the matter. Not to criticize her ways, but to understand how she thinks/feels.