Hi All! I am happy to be here. Although I'm developing a remarkable support system, I still feel a little lost with all the changes that are happening and think this will be a good support forum. I've been in a relationship with a straight female partner for nearly 17 years. Last October, at age 50, I came out bisexual and she was very supportive and excited by the thought of me with a guy. With her consent I had a male encounter and I loved it. Recently, I determined I'm gay. This was not as exciting for her. Bisexual gave her a space, gay did not. Functionally, I was not opposed to maintaining my relationship with her, even sexually, but she cannot accept the idea me being gay could accommodate our unique situation. Maybe she's right. Even if we could come to an understanding, she is not comfortable of me being "gay" (let alone bi) in front of her family and friends; she's very private. She not ashamed of me, just zealous over her privacy. I under that, but I am not the type not to share who I am and my journey of self-discovery. Needless to say, we're ending the relationship which is causing me great pain and guilt. She's a good person who assumed we'd grow old together. I'm second guessing myself and wonder if I'm being too hasty and not accommodating enough. Thoughts of "Maybe I am bi" come to mind. I know I'm not, but the anxiety and fear of losing her support is killing me. We're handling this amicably, so I hope we can maintain a close friendship in time. Time will tell. I'm giving her her space. That's my story hot of the press. I look forward to the support and advice I'll get here from others who have walked the same path.
hello from another new member, my story is rather different from you, im' what they call a gold star gay never slept with a female or even kissed one outside of my family, I am trying to understand gays who sleep or have relationships with the opposite sex i have had a few boyfriends who said they have and to me I just couldn't understand why, maybe i am very strong and I never wished to conform to anything that was against my nature
HI dylanuk, that's a question I've asked in therapy. My therapist said denial's a powerful thing. I was quite anti-gay-religious at a young age, and have been dealing with shame-based personality issues that can cause one to suppress important parts of themselves. It's been quite a journey. Thanks for comment.
Welcome! You are not the first and certainly not the last person to start coming out later in life. Check out the "Later in life" subforum for lots of help!
