ive been married to my husband for 11 years. I've been with him for 22 Years. I started dating him very young I was just 15 and he was 22. He was my world. But, even before that starting in my youth I was always attracted to women. Their curves, and breasts, and their their soft lips. Even now I find myself checking out women in public. When I pleasure myself it is only with the thought of women. I have only been with one woman in the past and my husband was made aware. We have had a long trying marriage, with infidelity from both of us. At my job there is a woman also my age(late 30's) who I am very attracted to. We have been friends for nearly four years now. Just recently she has confided in me that she has been with women. So, I too confessed. Over the past few months we have flirted with the idea but have never acted on it. As I am married and she is active with one or two men. She indicates clearly that she is attracted to me and even admits to having erotic dreams about me. She stated multiple times that she pleases herself to the thought of being intimate with me. But, lately she seems to tell me how much she enjoys being with men and tells me of her dates and erotic encounters. I'm beginning to think she may kind of be in denial. Anyway, that's only half of my problem. The other is that I am married to a wonderful man but I am positive that I am a lesbian. I have been in denial for years! This would effect so many in my life. My husband, kids, family and anyone that knows me. I'm not even sure how accepting people would be at my work. If I leave my husband and I am afraid that I will later regret it. That my lesbian oats will be sewed and I will want my non-gay life back again. But this recent crush at work has been opening my eyes that I could be happier. I just don't know what to do.
Hello there, and welcome to the forum! I'm sorry you're going through a hard and confusing time at the moment. I suggest maybe that you start a thread in one of the Support sections of the forum, where it will be more visable and you can get a better range of advice. Perhaps the Later In Life sub-forum would be helpful? I appreciate no-one here is that late in life, but I know there are a lot of posts there from members who are in, or have been in, exactly your situation. You're not alone!
Welcome BlueEyes321, you've come to the right place for support and advice Do you think it's possible that your lady friend from work is all of a sudden telling you about her sexual encounters with men because she feels that you and her might never hookup?
A lot has happened since I last posted. My friend from work and I have grown much closer. We've even had a intimate experience with each other(which I enjoyed, but did all of the work with no reciprocation) We are best friends and have a great relationship and constantly flirt with each other. I am recently troubled by a few things she has said to me. She asked me once in her home, when I was taking her away from all of this. Meaning her current life, which isn't so bad. She seems content. Also a few days ago she said if you weren't married I would totally marry you. I laughed assuming she was joking. She then continuously says I love you and let's get married. I know, it seems obvious but it isn't. She always seems to be jovial and joking with her comments. And still goes out with men and enjoys it. I'm confused.
I'm in a very similar situation to you in being married..... but, after years of questioning myself, kidding myself and making excuses for the way I think.... now, and being totally honest with myself in both heart and mind, realise I'm bi and am learning to accept it. I love my wife very very much, and that is never going to change - our marriage is very very strong and will remain that way..... But..... after much questioning of myself, knowing I'm attractred to men as well as women, and while out and about, as well as pretty girls, seeing guys and thinking "wow, isn't he handsome", I know I am bi. Because of complicated reasons, my wife does not know about this. I am the same person now as I've been for the 26 years we've been married, and I've accepted this has to be the way forward. Had I been gay, things would have been very different, and I would have to open up to her about it, and accept the consequences.... but I'm bi, and I love her very much. Maybe this is a bad attitude I've got.... maybe not.... but I'm learning to accept who I am. Certain members of her family (she isn't herself) are highly homophobic, so why cause her turmoil and upset.... and why... basically, try to repair something that's not broken?
