I signed up on this forum a few months ago but did not follow through after a few days. I went back to my self-destructive lifestyle. This has to stop and stop now. I am 55 years old, divorced and i fall back into my addictions when under stress. I discovered that shortly after getting married in my mid 20's, the only fantasy i have really ever had is being the woman in a relationship, especially sexually. i love to wear lingerie when i am alone. I have no idea where i am on the spectrum. Cross-dresser, transsexual or transvestite. I feel like i want to have the body of a woman but maybe too old to even consider it now not to mention that it would kill my elderly parents if they knew. i have compensated my confusion by using alcohol and gambled to the point of losing everything. I have to change my life now and a bit lost as to where to start. :help:
Hi AmIMad. There are lots of good people to talk to here, and I hope you find help to be at peace with yourself. :welcome:
I highly suggest the support forum. Cycles of self-destructive behavior are extremely difficult to break. Me, I'm much younger than you, but I were in one for some 7 years, maybe a little longer and I know how difficult it is to stop.
Hi.... Firstly, from your username, you are not mad in the slightest. We are of the same age, and I've only just recently come out to myself as bi, and like yourself, if my elderly, and not in got health, Mum, found out, it would finish her. I myself am married, but, there is a lot of homophobia around my in-laws, and revealing to them is not an option. Even my wife, I cant as the burden on her would not be fair. Being bi, there is no problem with our relationship and it is as strong as ever. I do have my fantasies, as men do - but towards guys as well as girls, and yes, similarly to you, I have had fantasies about putting on lipstick and, well... "femanising" a little. Hopefully, you can help your confusion a bit, by being here among friends and people who understand.
