Hi all, My name is Elena (not my real name) and I am 28. I am questioning my sexuality and have since I was 13. I used to think I was a lesbian, then bisexual, and now am married to a man (I'm female). I do definitely love him and hope never to have to be in a relationship with anyone else, but still I am not sure I am actually straight. In fact, I'm pretty sure I could fall in love with people of all genders, but of course I hope never to fall in love with anyone other than my husband. In a way you might wonder "so what's the big deal, you're married to a man so you're straight". I don't mean to be an intruder of course.
Hi! I also had that confused phase in my life way back when I was 11 until I met my "the one". It's normal to want to find answers and to be able to belong to a certain group, or simply to find a word to describe yourself, esp. your sexual orientation. But sexuality cannot be simply defined and placed in a few or more categories. Preferrences vary among individuals. And yes, you may think you belong in a certain group and yet find out later on you are different. Being married to someone of the opposite sex doesn't automatically make you straight nor does having a relationship with someone of the same sex makes you gay. It's what you feel inside that defines you. You don't need a label. You are what you are...straight, lesbian, bisexual...it doesn't really matter as long as you love and accept who you are. I hope this helps.
Hi Elena, welcome to EC. You're definitely not an intruder and it is perfectly valid to be questioning your sexuality even though you are already married. I hope you find all the answers you're looking for x
Thanks so much both of you. Cab8913, what you say makes a lot of sense. The thing is, my parents say I look for a reason to be different. I am on the autistic spectrum and blind, among other things, but my parents say that I'm only blind and don't accept that (which is partly true) and look for a reason to stand out because of this. It doesn't help with figuring out what my sexual orientation is that I'm also somewhere along the asexual spectrum, not sure where and not comfortable going into detail right now, but that complicates things. Ortensia, thanks so much for your kind comments. I see you're panromantic but a lesbian, does this mean you're sexually attracted to women but romantically to people of any gender? I also believe I might be panromantic but it's so commonly associated with polyamory, which is so not me, and I fear it would mean I cheat on my husband just saying I could be in love with other people (my husband was my first partner).
