Story of my Life

So I guess this is the only place I could share my story because I live in a country where my feelings wouldn't be accepted normally. I just feel like talking about it, mainly because I'm just tired of keeping it all inside.

p.s I'm a lesbian born to an extra religious family.
So back when I was a kid, I had no idea LGBT existed and I couldn't even think same-sex relationships were even real. However, even when I was only 4, I could obviously see I loved it more around women than men, although I was pretty tomboyish and hated girly stuff. I would always compliment any actress or an ordinary female friend of mine. It had gotten to the point when my sisters started complaining like, "you're a girl, a girl cannot love another girl". Since I had no idea who "lesbians" were, I did not understand what they meant at all.
But later, I grew up and my friends would get suspicious. While girls at school (or somewhere else) gathered around to discuss some guys they thought were 'hot', I'd be like, "have you seen the biology teacher? She's so young and beautiful!" or "You know this new girl at school is actually pretty hot" :rolle: I would always hear my friends say, "are you a lesbian?" or "if you're a lesbian, just tell us so" or something of this kind. I was slowly getting to know my true feelings, but I knew I could lose friends if I told them the truth, so I always kept lying and saying I'm in love with this guy at school or that guy I met over internet.

There were even those times when we'd see couples somewhere, my friends would be all like, "omg that guy is so hot! Uh, but he has a girlfriend, look at that b__ch..." while all I thought was, "I'd seriously give up everything to be on his place - look how perfect his girlfriend is!".

There aren't much LGBT in my country, so I even forced myself to have a crush on a guy, but I always ended up falling for his girlfriend or sister :bang: I even started praying to God to help me find a man I’d love, but instead, I only found men I was disgusted with
p.s no harm intended for any one of you. Guys in my country are just annoying perverts.

Then I just sat and thought.
- I never loved guys. Fine, they might be tall and handsome and all, but I just really had no interest in them, never. I love gays because they are cuties <3
- I'm a pervert when it comes to women :icon_bigg I'm sure I've fallen for more than 10 girls and for 0 guys at all :rolle:
- I JUST LOVE WOMEN.

So I decided, even if I was the only lesbian in my town, I'd still be who I am. I came out to some of my friends who support lgbt and I even told my mom and sister. My mom was shocked while my sister said it's normal. And I don't think God hates us - He'd obviously hate (some) heteros for their ugly actions.

Life Gets Better Together <333