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New and looking for answers

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by bluediamond, May 4, 2015.

  1. bluediamond

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    Hi Everyone!

    I just signed up on here (obviously). I recently figured out I'm bisexual... I've wondered for a long time but something happened over the weekend that made me realize I definitely can't be just "straight".

    I'm hovering somewhere between bi-curious and bisexual, or maybe a lesbian? I have no idea, but bisexual is my best guess.

    I currently live with my boyfriend which makes this both easier and more difficult. Easier because he's totally cool with it and, of course, thinking "threesome!", whereas I'm thinking "WHOAH, really? is this me?"

    This forum is my first attempt to really connect with other people like me to try to figure out what the next step is in my life. The biggest question now is, should I explore this side of me?

    Anyway, I look forward to talking with everyone and sharing thoughts!
     
  2. HM03

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    Hey there! Welcome to EC :wave:
     
  3. Invidia

    Invidia Guest

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    Of course you should! No question! Though that doesn't have to mean "threesome!" if you don't feel ready for that :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    Welcome to EC!! :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:ride:
    Glad to have you here!
    Specific questions on this belong under 'Sexual and Romantic Orientation' in the Support Area, methinks. See ya there hopefully (=
    I can say right now though, the most relevant question I can think of is 'Are you capable of being in love with other girls?' If no, you are likely bicurious. Meknows cause that's my mom's orientation ^^

    See ya around <33 :kiss:
     
  4. layladylay

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    Hi and welcome. I've been gay all my life and only just threw off the "bi-curious" and "bisexual" mantle to *see* and who I have clearly been for all my life, since childhood. I'm 49!

    I'm dismayed by your boyfriend's reaction, I should think he would treat it with much more respect, after all, I presume it was in great trust that you talked with him about it, and he should treat it as a precious piece of you that you've chosen to disclose to him. Yet he's thinking about how he might benefit sexually, rather than focusing on your emotional needs right now, because this sounds like it's huge for you (which makes total sense), and you're not a little emotionally vulnerable.

    But that's just me. You didn't ask for my opinion, but that never stops me lol.

    I just want to add something to think about, and it may be something that sits with you for years before it helps release you (and you'll know what I mean when it happens): this is not about *what* you are, it is about *who* you are. And that's a journey. Odysseus sailed for ten years before he reached his beloved Ithaka. The journey, with all its digressions, all its monstrous creatures to be defeated, was necessary. So, take your time. Go slow. Take years. It will all unfold exactly as it should, and you'll be ready when you're ready, and you'll know when you know.

    Meanwhile, enjoy yourself. ;-)

    Blessings!
     
  5. layladylay

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    Hi and welcome. I've been gay all my life and only just threw off the "bi-curious" and "bisexual" mantle to *see* and who I have clearly been for all my life, since childhood. I'm 49!

    I'm dismayed by your boyfriend's reaction, I should think he would treat it with much more respect, after all, I presume it was in great trust that you talked with him about it, and he should treat it as a precious piece of you that you've chosen to disclose to him. Yet he's thinking about how he might benefit sexually, rather than focusing on your emotional needs right now, because this sounds like it's huge for you (which makes total sense), and you're not a little emotionally vulnerable.

    But that's just me. You didn't ask for my opinion, but that never stops me lol.

    I just want to add something to think about, and it may be something that sits with you for years before it helps release you (and you'll know what I mean when it happens): this is not about *what* you are, it is about *who* you are. And that's a journey. Odysseus sailed for ten years before he reached his beloved Ithaka. The journey, with all its digressions, all its monstrous creatures to be defeated, was necessary. So, take your time. Go slow. Take years. It will all unfold exactly as it should, and you'll be ready when you're ready, and you'll know when you know.

    Meanwhile, enjoy yourself. ;-)

    Blessings!

    ---------- Post added 4th May 2015 at 10:03 AM ----------

    Hi Blue Diamond,

    Welcome. I'm also new here, and have just thrown off the mantle of being "bisexual" and "bicurious" to discover who I really am, and have been all my life, since childhood. I'm 49.

    I have to say I'm dismayed at your boyfriend's response. From the way you describe it, you made yourself emotionally vulnerable and entrusted him with a precious piece of yourself and, rather than hold it in the great respect and trust it deserves, he's thinking how it can benefit him sexually. Way to ride roughshod over your feelings.

    One thing I'd like to add, and I hope you'll let this piece sit with you. It is neither complex or profound, but it may be the piece that releases you - when that time comes: This is not about *what* you are, but *who* you are. That's a journey. So, go slow. Take your time. Take years. Have adventures. Have babies! Everything will unfold exactly as it should, and when it should, and when you know, it will hit you like a sledgehammer, and you'll think: that was me all along, and you'll laugh tears of joy, and regret nothing, because it will have all been necessary.

    Meanwhile, have fun ;-)

    Blessings!

    ---------- Post added 4th May 2015 at 10:04 AM ----------

    Hi Blue Diamond,

    Welcome. I'm also new here, and have just thrown off the mantle of being "bisexual" and "bicurious" to discover who I really am, and have been all my life, since childhood. I'm 49.

    I have to say I'm dismayed at your boyfriend's response. From the way you describe it, you made yourself emotionally vulnerable and entrusted him with a precious piece of yourself and, rather than hold it in the great respect and trust it deserves, he's thinking how it can benefit him sexually. Way to ride roughshod over your feelings.

    One thing I'd like to add, and I hope you'll let this piece sit with you. It is neither complex or profound, but it may be the piece that releases you - when that time comes: This is not about *what* you are, but *who* you are. That's a journey. So, go slow. Take your time. Take years. Have adventures. Have babies! Everything will unfold exactly as it should, and when it should, and when you know, it will hit you like a sledgehammer, and you'll think: that was me all along, and you'll laugh tears of joy, and regret nothing, because it will have all been necessary.

    Meanwhile, have fun ;-)

    Blessings!
     
  6. layladylay

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    I have no earthly idea why that posted three times, but there you have my reply, in triplicate.
     
  7. lovely lesbian

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  8. bluediamond

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    haha That's ok. :slight_smile: And, he's not all "threesome!". He's supportive, but that was his first reaction. Also, I'm a pretty open person so it wasn't really a huge deal to tell him. We've talked quite a lot since I realized it and we agreed if I wanted to explore my feelings, that's the way we'd go. I'd feel like I was kinda cheating if I did something without him.
     
  9. happydavid

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  10. layladylay

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    Glad to hear it. Good luck on your journey!
     
  11. BlackVeilSirens

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    Haiii:3 I'm new too ^.^