Hello, I am 28 years old, male, and have been repressing my sexuality for my entire life. Up until now it has been relatively easy.....focusing on school, my career, and always pushing my sexuality and gender confusion to the side; as something to be dealt with later. I can't even cry about it anymore, and thinking about it gives me terrible headaches. Now here I am, looking at 30, and finishing school. I've never been with anyone, have been through a clinical depression, and have never even masturbated. I don't know what I am: gay or trans. I am afraid that I know the answer....that it would be easier to be gay than trans. I almost wish I could just force myself to be gay. I don't know what will happen to my family and friends once I start on this journey of self discovery. But I do know that I can't continue like I have been. It's time to make a change; to find out who I am. Signing up to this forum is my first step in that.
Hi and welcome. First, it's really brave of you to take this step. I suggest you go on to the Support Area, look through some threads etc. in Sexual and Romantic Orientation and Gender Identity and Expression. Also, some clarification. You might be both androsexual (into guys) and trans* in one of the many varieties (there are several dozens). They are not exclusive. Hope to see you around - don't hesitate to reach out, we'll be there! hugs (*hug*)
Oh man, that's pretty tough. I mean, I've probably accepted who I am when I was still in my teens.. I'm now thirty. But, fret not. You're still young. Things will get better. Just hang out with good guys.. EC will be a good venue or outlet for you to express yourself at least online. Welcome buddy..
Congratulations on starting your journey. I'm a lot younger than you, but I can definitely relate to repressing my sexuality whilst focusing on academics. That lifestyle truly is a living hell. No one should have to go through that. Sadly, many people do. But you are no longer one of them! Speaking on behalf of pretty much everyone on this forum, we are happy and proud of you. This, insurmountable as it may seem at first, is the beginning of all your happiness. It saddens me to hear tha you have never been with anyone. But, on the positive side, the longer you wait, the more special it will be when it finally happens. A lack of things really makes you appreciate them when they finally come along. So, that's something to look forward to! Wishing you all the bravery you may need on this crucial journey. You are strong and deserving of love, and the kind that you desire. Stay strong.