So some of you may remember that I became an Advisor a while back and some of you may have noticed that I somewhat promptly disappeared. I wanted to apologize for that and let people know that I am back. I had some rather serious family issues that just sort of drained off any supportiveness I had to offer. My father recently had some rather serious pulmonary issues to add to his cardiac issues and as we were dealing with that one of my sisters was diagnosed with the same type of cancer that somewhat recently took our mother. I was fortunate to be able to take some time off from work to deal with everything--both the logistics and just the emotional toll, but I just didn't have a lot left over for a while there. But I'm back and I wanted to re-introduce myself. I'm almost 44, which I suppose on here qualifies me as "later in life" something I'd never really considered myself before. I came out immediately after college so I've been out for a little over 20 years. My partner and I have been together for 17 years. I have struggled with what exactly my expertise is that would make me an "advisor." I have no therapeutic or psychological background--my degrees are in religious studies and I'm a private banker by trade. What I guess I do have is experience. I've been thoroughly enmeshed in the gay community for over 20 years and it has been a tremendous source of joy and comfort in my life. I grew up in a very religious family, was so sure that I would not be accepted that I tried to kill myself my senior year of high school. I came out in a time and place that was not at all conducive and made my way. I've dated around, slept around and been in an amazing relationship with an amazing man for 17 years now. I was a party boy--like 6 nights a week--for years. I've done the rallies, the brunches, the dance party circuit, gay book clubs and choirs. I've fought the good fight and if I haven't been in all the battles, well I've been through most of them. And being gay has been an amazing blessing in my life--something I could have never even imagined when I was young. And I'm happy--I mention this mainly because I think one should always be careful taking advice from people who aren't. I remember the first time I finally mustered up the courage to go to a gay bar. I wanted to go to Pride and I only knew a couple gay guys and they wouldn't go with me, so I went alone and it was amazing. I felt this intense sense of joy and community but it was sort of like I was looking in from the outside--I didn't even speak to anyone at the parade. So I went to a bar along the parade route. I didn't know what to do--I didn't even drink. So I ordered a Coke and mustered up the courage to walk up to a group of guys and sort of announce that it was my first parade. Everyone wanted to know what I thought and once they realized not only had I never been to a parade before but had never been to a gay bar before--and was from Utah to boot--I became a bit of a curiosity and was shuffled about the bar and introduced around, sort of passed from one group to another. I must have met hundreds of people that afternoon and sort of fell in with one group in particular. That group of guys was with me for years and years--many of them are still my friends after all this time. They showed me the ropes. We laughed together, cried together, danced together--and we made it through. And I guess that's what I hope I can be here--someone who has been there and lived to tell the tale. If you need someone to tell you it gets better I can do that, because it did--much better than I could have even imagined. If you need someone to tell you that it may only get better if you work at it I can do that too--I've been working at it for twenty-some-odd years. Hit me up, I'm here.
