Hello I guess?

Sorry I wrote a lot, but I have a lot to say, and no one to say it too, here it goes.
So, I am new to this site and I usually just keep to myself, but I felt that I would stop creeping around and create a profile. So here I am. I guess I will start off by saying that I am Native American and that I grew up in a small town on a reservation. Growing up I was relatively ignored by my sisters and father once he realized we had very little in common. I avoided my mother because she had a temper, which has somewhat dissipated with age. So all I had growing up was my friends, which included one of my cousins. At a critical juncture in early adolescence, however, they decided to bully me. I was smarter, more mature, my family sheltered us (which is unusual for the rez), and on top of it I was gay I guess. So I lost my friends and learned to live alone. What no one failed to realize though was that I was transitioning from a shy but outgoing kid into a reclusive teenager.
Well, I went off to community college and got my AA, but when I tried to get a bachelor's degree, I failed miserably. Through introspection and some searching on google, I came to the conclusion that I had developed Avoidant Personality Disorder (AvPD). As the college classes became more student interactive, I failed. I dropped out and went back home, and then tried again this past fall semester. I failed again though. So here I am 25 at home again feeling like a loser, which I know I am not because if I hadn't been impaired I would have had a degree at 22. I've also been keeping people at a distance for well over half my life now, so even opening up to strangers is a big leap for me.
Anyway, I guess I will come around to the whole closet thing now, since that is what this place is about. Growing up I assumed that I would be a "standard" heterosexual, but looking back now, I can see that was never going to happen. When it didn't, it wasn't any big deal. I had created my own world so I was fine with being gay. It wasn't until I was seventeen though that I actually said it out loud to myself, lying in the dark before bed. It took another 4 years for me to attempt a coming out though. My older sister who is 3 years older and shares my birthday had already come out as bisexual. So I came out on my 21st birthday to Facebook, but I wasn't friends with my parents, so I would had to have told them in person. I chickened out though and made my sister text them. My parents and I sorta avoided each other until I had to come home that summer from school and work at my rez. When the subject came up though, I was called a sicko by my mother who also said she should get her gun on me? I was mad all the way home, and if they hadn't been leaving on a two week trip I would probably be somewhere better right now. It didn't though, and we both let it slide. They went into denial, and I was forced back into the dreaded closet. Four years later and I am still working on a second confrontation. It would all be so much easier if I didn't have that pesky AvPD, I could be self-sufficent and not having to deal with any of this mess. Anyway, sharing this has my nerves rattled and I am contemplated deleting this, but I won't. :help: