Hey Everyone, I've just beamed aboard emptyclosets for the first time! Wow, it looks like there are some really interesting discussions and debates going on. So hoping I can join in too! I am actually writing a voluntary feature for the charity, CALM at the moment about loneliness. If you haven't heard of it before, Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) is a UK-based charity aimed at lowering the suicide rate among men. So I just wondered if anyone has any thoughts on loneliness. Is it something you've ever felt personally? And do you think sexuality can play a part in making you feel sad and isolated, as well as other stuff like unemployment, living away from home, a disability or possibly even social media - by causing a Fear Of Missing Out? I'm hoping the feature can offer some guidance and suggestions on how to overcome loneliness, too. So if anyone would like to share their thoughts on loneliness, that'd be great! It's all totally anonymous, so you don't have to use your real name. And you can always message me privately if you don't fancy posting below. Thanks for reading! Simon
Hi Simon, and welcome. Sounds interesting. I have a background in trauma counselling, and will soon be involved with facilitating chronic pain management courses. Loneliness is certainly a hot topic for both of these groups, as well as many others....
Hi Simon. I am certainly battling with this issue because of the life choices being a gay female have restricted me to. I have made the choice to be with my family because they are important to me as well as the ties to my religion. it means that the only place I talk about my sexuality is online. So yes, my sexuality has made me make difficult choices and the reason why I often experience loneliness. Studying, reading, art and television have become my life companions
Monday greetings! Totally appreciate you all posting some comments - I'll be working any feedback into my feature. It's interesting because I think loneliness is one of those non-physical conditions that isn't always talked about with the same impact as other more obvious illnesses. Yet it can still lead to all kinds of emotional and possibly physical upset if not addressed. I completely agree, online forums are a great place to actually talk through these issues and hopefully get some friendly advice through shared experiences. On a personal level, I can relate to that feeling of loneliness and isolation when I first went "official" as gay and didn't actually have anyone to explore the brave NEW world with - lots of straight friends who were settling down, thinking about having kids etc. I had to make myself get out there, which was scary! But glad I did. Anyway, enough rambling from me! Thanks again for your comments and happy Monday evening to all. Simon
Very good idea, OP! I really like it I can share a story, of loneliness from a trans perspective. If I get overly emotional, well, so be it ^_^ Ever since I was little, since I was born I'm guessing, even though I can't remember that time, I felt very disconnected from my body, and still do, like I'm kind of a spirit forced to live in a container that I cannot identify with. Like a fish on land, it didn't click. So I was left to wonder at the connection other children had. Like, "hmm? What's she/he doing?" I couldn't understand them and had a hard time connecting. They saw my container and treated me that way, but my container was not me. So again, I was confused. Gender dysphoria keeps me isolated. While at one hand I'm really needy and I'm lonely, I can't be with people because I simply can't stand being seen as male. So yeah... that^ is the source of my loneliness. Plus mental instability/illhealth... It feels hollow... like I know that people care but it feels like I'm all alone with my problems.
Hello Spacekook and welcome to EC. Part of my joining the community is because i'm suffering from severe loneliness and isolation. I can write books about it. My life is cocktail of extreme trauma and sexual frustration, religious persecution and self loathing. I think sexual issues paly a major part in some people's loneliness, although I don't think it is in my case. I lived through war, and saw people change for the worst, and in my view things got so ugly that I hated people in general and decided I don't want to interact much with them anymore. this is because of some major events that took place in my life which included mortal threat. I now confine myself to interacting only through business and with one or two close friends, when I actually feel like it. Apart from that, being in a society that completely condemns any deviant sexual behaviour, has prevented me from seeking any meaningful romantic relationship, and actually made me lose the only one I ever had. For a while I blamed myself and hated this part of me which led me down a spiral of self abuse with alcohol and tobacco, which I found out doesn't solve any problems so I quit the alcohol part. I am now living a completely lonely life, and I still think humanity is doomed. PTSD'ing for sure. Hope this sheds some light on how loneliness formed in a once happy and outgoing boy.
Thanks so much for sharing your stories, Beckiwoopx and warthog...I'm hoping you have now found a great online community for support, guidance...even just some friendly, fun chat. I know it is a bit of an old cliche, but weirdly it does sometimes make things seem a bit better when you write about your life troubles or speak them out loud. And I do say that from personal experience. Obviously, no one really knows what it is like to walk in your shoes, as we all have different stories...but don't let the loneliness beat you!
