46 years old and just come out

I confided in my close friend, who is also my manager, last night that I am gay by text and she text me back saying she loved me just as I am. I was really touched by her acceptance as it is something I always struggled to accept myself. I feel as though a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders and I am somehow free at last.

All of my younger sexual experiences were with females and my interest and attraction in women has been something I have hidden since I was caught with a girl in my teens and made to feel like a freak by my abusive father. The following years have seen four weddings and a funeral, the weddings my own and the death of my best friend.

I spent my life looking for a man to rescue me yet found myself absent when it came to sex, the only way to make it palatable by creating lesbian fantasy, which they found thrilling, little understanding that my fantasies were my own secret yearnings. This came to a head, when a few years ago I ended up sleeping with a female friend, albeit as part of a threesome - although I had no interest in the male. I realised immediately that I was denying my own truth as I felt alive with her, fully connected and present.

Again I hid my true feelings from myself in order to tow the line, be normal and be accepted by my family.

Several things have happened recently and I can deny my true self no more. The marriage ended and I rented myself a little cottage to live in 18 months ago. From there I have allowed myself the opportunity to heal from my childhood and accept myself. I had to walk away from my birth parents due to their narcissistic nature and family - which leaves me in a much more peaceful space, full of peace and time to heal. I have a 26 year old daughter who I am very close to but have never told of my real self.

I now feel complete but I would greatly appreciate advice on how I can nurture my new found acceptance, learn to love truthfully and be part of this wonderful community.