Hi, I'm 19 and a female, and I am so confused about my sexuality. I've always dated guys, mostly because that's just what was expected, and it's not that I wasn't romantically attracted to them, but I felt attraction towards girls too which I've always ignored. That's the first thing that's been confusing me. lately it's been getting harder to ignore and I feel like I shouldn't be having these feelings and the more I get them the harder I try to ignore them and the harder I try to ignore them the less I'm successful and I don't know what I am because I'm not what I always thought or presumed I was. the second part that has me confused is that I don't find women sexually attractive. so in my head that's making me tell myself I'm straight. but then, looking back at sexual relationships I've had with guys, most of it was just because they wanted it, and it was expected and normal to have sex in a relationship. I didn't hate it, but it wasn't what I thought it would be. it was pleasurable, but I didn't feel attracted to my partners in anything more than a romantic way. and I don't know what's going on with me. the more recent times I've taken part in sexual activity has been libido based, there hasn't been sexual attraction there. plus I've always been very insecure and found myself wanting to give them sex and please them so that they wouldn't leave me. I'm growing and becoming stronger and I know better the treatment I deserve and that I shouldn't be doing things like that but I feel like I don't know what I want. I fall in love but I'm not attracted to them in the way I hear my friends talk about. I pretend to be, because that's normal expected behaviour, but it's not me. I don't know what me is yet, but I know it's not what I've pretended to be. I always just wanted to be normal and now it's too hard to pretend I am and I really don't know how to handle that. I don't know who I am but I don't want to be her if she's not normal. I don't want to end up alone with no friends or family and I feel like as soon as I give in to the confusing feelings I will be. someone please just tell me it's going to be okay.
Hey etherealcereal, Relax, there is nothing wrong with you! You are totally normal. First of all, take a deep breath and relax. There is no need to rush to a conclusion about all of these feelings. Take all the time you need to think about them. How do you feel about guys? Do you feel attracted to them romantically? And sexually? And women, are you attracted to them romantically? Do you feel it would be nice to kiss a woman, for example? And sexually? It doesn't matter if you are straight, bisexual, lesbian, asexual or anything else. Relax, take a deep breath, everything is ok. Hugs (*hug*)
thank you! I do feel romantically attracted to men, but I've felt that towards women too and always brushed it off and ignored it. I've never been sexually attracted to a woman, or a man really for that matter. I just feel like I don't know what's going on in my head. I'm with a guy at the minute and I feel very close emotionally with him and there's a strong romantic attraction. before him was a girl though, and that's what's brought all of these feelings up because it was stronger than I'd noticed before and I didn't feel like I could ignore it. I'm just so confused. I feel like I need to have a label and that people are always going to want to label me but I honestly don't know where I fit. and I'm not sure how to figure that out.
