So.... hi. Getting straight to the point I'm a 13 year old girl who had discovered a lot of things about myself during my summer. One of them being that I may not be straight. It makes sense, as embarrassing as it is to say it out loud I masturbate a lot :icon_redf . And whenever I do I'm always reading lesbian fanfics or one shots :eusa_doh: I know it's stupid. But then I started to dig deeper and realized all of the other people reading these novels were lesbians. The problem with me is though i don't know if I'm really lesbian or if i'm just attention seeking. Just lately I've found myself picturing scenarios of me telling people and they way I'd like it to go. It makes me wondering if i just want people to know. I mean I've never even kissed anyone so how can I know if I like boys or girls. But thinking about boys in a sexual way does absolutely nothing for me and to be honest it makes me feel a bit sick. Not that theirs anything wrong with it. I'm so angry with myself because i can't find an answer to my own problem. I get butterflies thinking about being with a girl, but when i think into the future I cant picture me growing old with another woman just a man. It's driving me crazy and I'm so confused I'd really like some advice If anyone could offer any. -A very confused girl :dry:
I totally understand you 100%. I am 14, and I have established that I am definitely not straight, but for the past 3 years before about 6 months ago, I couldn't stop worrying if I was just attention-seeking and I tried to tell as few people as possible in case I changed my mind. But I would say the best thing to do is remember that most other people this age generally know their sexuality, and if you are attracted to girls that probably won't change. And don't be angry, and also, it may take a while to get used to it which is probably why you can't picture yourself with a girl forever yet.
Take your time exploring your feelings and figuring things out. There's no reason to rush into giving yourself a label or coming out. Also, I noticed you brought up fanfic. I'd say keep reading it. Three years ago I started questioning my sexuality when I started reading fanfic and it really helped me come to terms with myself.
Hey! Don't worry too much. Lots of people have to take time to figure out their identities. Figure out what's comfortable for you before worrying about labels. But, if you identify as lesbian, that's 100% okay! Remember, you can still change your label later if you feel like it doesn't fit, so don't feel like you have to conform to one label.
I'd just like to say thank you to you all. It's really amazing to hear from people who've been through the same thing, I think I'm going to take the advice and stop trying to label my self! Thanks all
