First the introduction; I’m the same person as poster Starlight (Jay) and I’m sure the Mods can verify that if there is any doubt. I left here for numerous reasons one of which was that I was spending way too much time on here. The other reasons I've never openly talked about, because as with most things in my life I don't talk about them, the moment I do is the moment I have to deal with them. I guess this is the moment where I start to deal with them. There were two main events in 2008 that changed the person I was, in both I lost a great person from my life down to my own idiocy. The first tore me apart as a person and I eventually sorted myself out, which came just in time for second event which I didn't take anywhere near as seriously as I should have and its undone everything I did to get myself back together in the first place. I'm at the point where, while my close friends haven't said anything, my Uni tutor is able to notice that something is wrong with me skipping lectures. After a talk with her in which she mentioned that she hasn't seen me smile in a long time or believed that the smiles are genuine. It made me realise that I'm at a point where I could just fall completely apart again. I think about the how I am now and compare that to before all this and there is this massive difference and I'd give anything to be that person again. I'm not expecting there to be any quick fix to this, because I know there isn't. I just needed to get this out in the open and I do have a couple of ideas of how I'm going to sort this.
Greetings JAN. Nice to see you again. An old Japanese saying is "The first thing you need to do in order to break out of prison is to realize that you're in prison. Otherwise, there's no hope for escape." You now know there's a problem, and that's step one. Step two is identifying it and coming up with a plan of attack. It sounds like you're on the right track. Lex
