I Guess I forgot this section, anyways.. I'm fairly new to the gay stuff, even though I've known for many years, however this site though.. ..um, yes & no, I was here before; but was clueless & wasn't sure what to talk about, & took a long break from here. Hopefully I can stick around longer this time, I'am Closet Shut:icon_wink I picked the name because that's exactly where I'am with my orientation right now, in a shut closet.. even though I'm over the the legal age, I still cannot come out right now, & I do not have the money to live in my own place right now, so I'm living with my father. I come from a very cultural/ethnic background, from West Africa I'm not gonna go too much into specifics about what country, because I've mentioned it before on a few other forums, & I don't want to leave a trail about myself, I live in the United States; & have since I was 5, I lived in Austria before that. I come from a religious, & culturally African background, & for those who know how some African people can be, you'll know that being gay, & being from that culture don't go together, I just know how my family would react if I told them, especially my dad. Apart from all of that, I've known I was gay since I was about 6-7, but just didn't know what to call it, it started out as a curiosity towards certain details on men.. & then those curiosities turned into attractions, & ever since I've suppressed my feelings about it, or at least trying to hide them from myself.. it took me a long time to admit to myself that I liked dudes, & to even say the word gay inside my head, it made me cringe. As of today, I guess I'm accepting it.. but I don't know, I'm also Catholic & that's where I have the biggest conflict, feeling conflicted with faith & my orientation, also I have Social Anxiety so I'm pretty reserved, & protective of my emotions. I used to think that if I'm able to do well enough, & find a place that coming out would be easier, but I'm not so sure, anyways I hope to be apart of this site.. & be of some help, if possible; even though I am coming to terms with my orientation, I do feel a bit conservative about some of my views on the LGBT community, not in everything.. but maybe some things, it depends.. but I'm pretty open minded/flexible.. but yeah, that's pretty much my story.:eusa_ange
Hey there! I definitely can relate. Growing as a catholic, I rarely ever thought about homosexuality. I tried telling myself that I liked women once I got into puberty, and the word 'gay' itself seemed so disgusting and wrong. Also, I know how my family would react if I told them, especially my dad... I do get anxious at times as well, but talking with other people who are like you does help. Lastly, I'm also in conflict with myself because of my sexuality and what the Church says, resulting in me sounding conservative, which I guess I am in some ways... Anyways, the point is that you're not alone in this.
Thanks y'all, & yeah.. It's good to relate to another person with this as well, you don't hear about a lot of religious people who are also LGBT so it's good to see a bit of that on here, & with yourself.. & if you ever want to talk about something going on, or have a question you can write on my wall thank you for reply & I'm doing okay Phioo thank you, & sweet Italy I bet that's a beautiful place to live depending on the area it is.
