Hi everyone! So I guess I'll start of by saying that I'm Dre I am a 21 year old bisexual female. I recently came to terms with the label of bisexual but there is some background to it all and I need some help with my re-coming out. Ever since I can remember I have had some kind of attraction towards girls and guys but I guess my parents only saw the whole guy part of it.. it all pretty much started when I was 14 a freshman in high school I met a girl with whom I fell in love with and I was very happy since I didn't know anything about the LGBT labels I didn't call it anything other than my friend who I really liked and cared about.. about 8 months into it my mom realizes that my new "friend" wasn't too much on the girly side and proceeded to ask me if I was GAY... umm.. I said yes? It all blew up to the point of my parents blaming this girl for everything and moving me half way across the country... while in this new school I went back to the "straight" life style I lived before I had met that girl but I always knew I loved her and she wasn't the last girl I was ever into... through out the rest of high school I realized that I couldn't hide it forever so as I perused relationships with other girls I found myself feeling comfortable hiding behind boyfriends so that my parents would never know how I truly felt... after my high school graduation I moved to another country away from my parents I was feeling surfaced and I met a good guy and I really liked him so we got into a relationship.. a year later I ended up telling him about my attraction towards girls and he was scared at first but I "reassured" him that I wouldn't go back to that... now 3 and a half years later I realize that I have been lying to myself and everyone around me for almost 6 years and if you really think about it.. MY WHOLE LIFE! Ok so here's the real deal.. now I am living back with my parents I have gotten in contact with that girl from high school the one that my parents HATE to this day for making them go through that.. and OH MY GOD! Little did I know I really still love this girl!! So now I'm really hurting because I'm in a relationship with this great guy whom I really love and care about but I'm realizing that I haven't been honest with anyone about who I am and it is causing a lot of hurt in me because I'm hiding from my parents. I know my boyfriend will be ok with everything but my parents are a whole other story. Being an adult I wish I didn't have to hide from the 2 people who are supposed to love me the most so I really just want to tell the truth... I just don't want them to hate this girl even more because I know that they will think this is coming to light now because of her...(they don't know we talk still).. what should I do? I guess you would call this a 2nd coming out? I JUST WANT TO BE FREE!!! -hoplesslylost DRE<3:bang:
Hi Dre, Welcome! Let me start out by saying that you are not alone in the whole parents boat!! I'm right there with you. I'm probably not the best person to be giving advice for this sort of thing though b/c I've never been in a real relationship before. I hope that someone else might have some insight for you. I hope that your parents will come around (who knows, maybe hindsight is 20/20 and after the passing of the marriage equality law they might have changed their minds). I should tell you though that this post might be better placed in the "coming out advice" forum. That way people who are ready to reply to this kind of post will find it better.
welcome :smilewave it seems to me that you are ready to tell them. If they still blame the girl, try to explain it to them. But better wait for an answer from someone who has some experience.
Erzulie and Riyuzaki thanks!(*hug*) I posted on the coming out forum I hope I get some help soon because its really breaking me apart lying to my parents and to my boyfriend is really hard. :icon_sad:
Hello! Sorry about the mess you're in. The main thing keeping me from coming out is fear of my parents reacting, and I think that's a pretty common fear. I hope you can find support and answers on the forums!
