I've recently come to terms that I am probably gay, definitely at least homoromantic. I've questioned my sexuality since middle school but I've went through many phases of denial. Despite my denial, I've never had any interest in dating females. I dated one once for a month when I was 15, and she was a great person that I loved as a friend, but I feel like I was tricked by my surrounding environment of straight friends to think I was straight at the time. Now before anything else, I'd like to say that being a more feminine gay man has its cons. Homophobes tend to target those feminine gay men, as they only see through a stereotypical lense. Despite this, I wish I was more flamboyant. I have suffered from General Anxiety Disorder, and the thought of coming out of the closet to my friends flip flops. I'll really want to come out, but then I'll chicken out when I talk to them. Only two long distance friends know about my sexuality. No one from my school knows that I'm gay at all. I am not feminine at all, but also not some really masculine "bro". I'm neutral; smack in the middle. My friends have asked multiple times what girls I'm in to, and I'll either say some random girl, or I'll say "none right now". If I was flaming, I wouldn't have to go through too much of the "coming out" trouble, as sadly, most people stereotypically see flamboyant men as gay, wether they're out or not. I wouldn't feel as isolated and hidden from society. Thoughts? I'm wondering if anyone else is going through a similar situation as me. I'd appreciate advice as well for coming out. Also, most of my friends are pretty liberal, and while I know that they'd most likely still accept me as a good friend, my anxiety gets to me and gives me doubts about the situation :icon_sad: ---------- Post added 12th Sep 2015 at 11:36 PM ---------- Also, my parents are liberal too, but I'm afraid they'd change my view of me.
I know exactly how you feel. I'm gay but I totally pass as straight. I wish people just knew, it's so difficult. I also wish I was brave enough to start correcting people on it too.
I don't think that's the best thing to do, since the people who connect flamboyant with gay normally don't accept them either. I think the best option is to work on becoming comfortable with who you are right now, since you're a perfectly lovable person.
I understand what you're saying and I was actually just thinking about this yesterday while I was walking around my local mall. It seems to me that it is so much easier to spot gay men, especially as you said when they're more flamboyant. I think the female equivalent would be when a woman is very butch, but otherwise I think it can be hard to tell. I've often wished that people would just be able to tell it about me, but as I've only just recently started realizing I was gay, I guess I can't be surprised that others haven't noticed. I think though just being yourself is enough, you don't want to change who you are just to get people to notice, just wait until the time is right to let people know.
Hello and welcome to ec I completely understand what you're saying, I am sorta flamboyant? Or so I've been told anyway, I've had friends who I didn't have to come out to because they figured I was out. and I am but I would be lying if I said that it didn't make it easier for me given the supportive people who surround me but I've also had a few instances where it/things got ugly...but best of luck and if you ever need a friend don't hesitate to contact me
You should NEVER feel bad about the way you are. Flamboyance is just a stereotype! I saw a video of a super buff guy propose to another super buff guy. You can be manly, flamboyant, or inbetween. If people assume your sexuality because of the way you look or act, that's their fault for being that stupid. I know coming out is hard, I just came out to my sister, and I was very nervous; but she accepted me and was fine with it. And if they ask what girl you're into, don't be afraid to correct them. If they don't accept you for being gay, then they aren't really your friends, and I promise you will find people who accept you. I think most people would. I your situation gets better. Just don't be afraid to be who you are.
I understand where you coming from. I kinda feel the same. I'm kinda skinny but I'm pretty masculine. I have a deep voice, a southern drawl, and a lot people see me as straight. I walk like regular straight dude would. And I don't even act, that's just how I am. I sometimes think how less stress I'd be if I were flamboyant because people would just assume I'm gay or whatever you know, and coming out wouldn't be so difficult. Even though flamboyant gay guys are a target for homophobes, I would fight back if anybody tried me. Everyday I think about coming out completely but I'm so scared. lol. And I've only dated one female too when I was 15 lmao. I thought I could become straight though I never had much interest in dating girls either. I think we lasted for like 2 months or close to 2 months and I just couldn't do it no more because I just wasn't that into her as a gf. As a friend yeah but the relationship was awkward for me. I have been single since. That's the only relationship I have ever been in and I'm 20 now. ---------- Post added 13th Sep 2015 at 05:43 PM ---------- Same here, man.
