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Coming out as bi

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by Rae22, Sep 14, 2015.

  1. Rae22

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    So I'm 15 and I've known my whole life pretty much that the pin in my sexual compass wasn't quite pointing straight. I've always known I'm not a lesbian because I am and always have been attracted to men but I've always had this underlying attraction to females. I'm pretty damn sure I'm bisexual - I would sooner be in a relationship with a girl than a guy and I currently have a huge crush on one of my girl friends. But I'm too scared to come out because I think people will tell me it's just a phase or just question me or tell me to get over it. I also suffer from social anxiety which just puts a whole new spin on things! I'm new here and not really sure what to do about anything so any advice would be much appreciated! Thanks! Rae x
     
  2. ApexxShadow

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    Welcome to EC :slight_smile:
     
  3. heyKittie

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    First of all, welcome to EC. :slight_smile: I am 14 and also identify as bisexual, and I have some similar problems. I am sure of my sexuality, but I think if I tell people they will think its a phase or I am a fake 'bisexual'(because apparently its popular to be bisexual or something, at least at my friends school). And I've also had some interest in girls my whole life. About coming out: if you don't think people will believe or accept you(plus your s.a. issues), maybe don't tell them right now. If you ever need to vent or are having troubles, you can always post on EC or message me. I'm always up to talking. :slight_smile:
     
  4. bubbles123

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    Welcome to EC! You came to the right site! Everyone on here is super helpful and it helps so much to come on here and ask for advice and just talk to people.

    Anyway, I think a lot of people have to deal with others thinking they're going through a phase. But the thing is, you are who you are and if you decide to come out soon and people think it's a phase, just remember that what they think doesn't change anything. You're still you and once you decide to tell people something personal like that it's up to them to decide how they're going to respond to it, but that's on them. The important thing is that what others think has no effect on who you want to date or fall in love with.

    You don't have to come out right away if you're not ready. Do you have any friends or family members who you think will be accepting? You could start by telling them to make it easier. And there are lots of ways you could come out to different people. If you don't want to say it face to face (this can be a tad nerve-racking sometimes) you could do it through text or email or write a letter explaining everything. No way is wrong, whatever way works for you and helps you say what you need to say.

    I know it all seems daunting but just take it little by little. The great thing is that you've been able to accept this for yourself, which can take a lot of bravery so kudos to you!:slight_smile:
    I wish you all the best<3
     
  5. melissakok

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    Hi Rae! Welcome. Im so glad that you are reaching out for community so young. I started struggling with my sexuality about your age and sought as much information as I could from my library. This site is so nice for exploration and acceptance. Its so awesome youre starting to accept yourself now. If I can help, please let me know.
     
  6. blueshadedsoul

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    Hi & welcome :slight_smile: I understand what you're feeling, & I hope you'll find this site helpful :grin:
     
  7. Rae22

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    Thanks means a lot! I'm not sure how to message people on here as I'm very bad with technology etc hahaha
     
  8. YuriBunny

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    Out to everyone
    Welcome to EC! ^.^
     
  9. Zen fix

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    Welcome to EC Rae. I think you'll find yourself in good company here. In regards to the anxiety I would bet that a large number of us here have dealt with this as well.
     
  10. rainbowtheorist

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    Hi there,

    I agree with heyKittie and Bubbles123, you don't need to tell everyone right now. I'm NOT saying you need to hide it though. Try to find someone that you think is open minded about that kind of things. It doesn't have to be your bestfriend, I found that the closest the person is to you, the harder it is to come out to them (it hurts more if they don't accept you and you're more scared of loosing them). If you have any queer friend, it might be a good person to confide in. Otherwise, there are plenty of us here on emptycloset :wink:

    I understand being bi can make coming out hard, some people still don't accept it as a "valid" sexual orientation, which, by the way, is plain stupid. Anyway, if you need to leave your closet : do, but try doing it progressively, otherwise, you can stay there a bit longer, as long as it has wifi ^^

    Good thoughts to you (*hug*)
     
  11. happydavid

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