Hello! I'm very new to this whole internet forum thing.. I'm nervous and I don't really know where to begin...can someone help me please? thanks. :help::icon_bigg
Hello again!! Hmmm...where to begin?! How are you? Let's see...I'm 25, and have been questioning my sexuality for many, many years. The anxiety and confusion is so very frustrating...i'm not sure what else to say even though I think there is a lot more to say. ---------- Post added 20th Sep 2015 at 10:44 PM ---------- how bout you?
I'm so glad I can talk to someone I am in the same boat!! Maybe not for as many years - a few weeks to say the least but I am so confused and I don't know what to do! I've had a few girlfriends in my day and I've had sex once with a girl and it was okay.. I don't know what the hype was about! haha But I am a twenty year old male and am about 90% sure I'm gay and I don't know where to go from here. I just want to experiment and touch another guy.. but I don't know who or what or where to reach out to??? I just always knew I was different ya know? Something kinda felt off as a little kid but lately I just have switched from girls to men. I guess I've always been a little feminine, I liked to talk. I liked picking out outfits to see what matched.. little stuff like that! Enough about me.. fill me in! How are you???
I'm glad we found this site! I have a bit of a different story...I'm female, and had a same-sex "fling" I guess you could call it, many many years ago. For a while I was very turned on fantasizing about it...for years after it had actually happened. Also for all these years, I had major crushes on boys but could never really feel comfortable with them sexually. I've been sexually attracted to guys and have been in sort-of-relationships with them but nothing has ever felt super right...I've wondered if it's just the guys or whether I'm still supposed to be having sex with girls...or what...and I'm so confused. I feel like I don't fit in to too many communities so I just end up feeling alone and confused. Anyway, I feel like we have very different situations but it's still cool to talk to someone about it. Do you want to tell me more about your situation? I'm down to listen!
Absolutely By the way my name is Phil, so we can be on a personal level. Before I go into a little more detail on myself I have a few questions and/or pointers for you! #1. How was the same sex fling? How did it make you feel? Did you ever keep in contact with the other girl? Was it just a one time thing or relationship? #2. Have you thought about the possibility of bi-sexual? Do you think based on your feelings you may fall into that category? Besides sexual feelings, which gender are you more 'in-tune' with so to speak? So I'll go back to when I was a young kid and other things that might've made me who I am. When I was a young kid, I felt different, and I'm not even saying - gay - different. Just different. I was kind of in my own world, didn't really fit in too well with any - one group. I never pegged it as being gay and still as I write this I am still not 100% sure. Anyway, as I got older, I felt very intrigued with the possibility of being with a guy and to be straight honest - sorry if I'm a little graphic - but the idea of going down on another guy makes me so excited, I fantasize about that constantly. Switching topics, I almost killed myself this summer - sorry for the emotional rollercoaster. It has nothing to do with sexual orientation or anything, I didn't like myself and was - and still am - immensely depressed. Why? No idea, just kinda sad at times. Taking some meds and man do I feel awesome, like my old self I feel fantastic. I've always been taught to do me. Screw other people and go after who I am and what I desire and I seriously think I'm gay! And the think is, it makes me so happy. It makes me want to go out and scream it to the mountaintops - although I'm still scared to tell my roommate haha and again am still not 100% sure! I guess what I'm trying to say is that the thing that I couldn't put my finger on, or in other words the thing that's been holding me back is flowering and the idea of it is so awesome to me and I feel so happy and 'at terms' with myself. Lastly, I don't care what anyone thinks haha although I'm still kind of shy and don't want people to know yet, I could care less what they think of me. I just feel confident about it, does that make sense? And the LGBT community is so nice and supportive and makes me feel so at home!!! I love it!
Yay! Your post made me feel so many different things, but it seems to have ended on a decent note. And that's why I started with yay. Nice to meet you! I don't feel quite comfortable enough yet to put my name, hope you don't mind : ) Also, I feel so old to be so uncomfortable and ashamed of who I am (haha) but I know that's silly because there are people SO old trying to figure these same things out! To answer your questions, the sex fling was a)not even sex, b)so so long ago but has still pervaded my thoughts but it was so long ago that I can't even fantasize about it...she was my best friend and then I went through highschool feeling like she was growing distant from me, and it made me very angry. We've stayed in touch, and are still close in a way, but it hasn't been the same in a very long time. I've definitely entertained the idea that I have been in love with her...or I was for a while or something, but then on the other hand, just-friends distancing themselves from you can be hard even without the complications of there being anything sexual...It also (the fling) made me feel very ashamed I think, I didn't want to talk about it and it made me feel uncomfortable to be around her for a little while I think. But it was the thing that turned me on the most for a long time, and I remember some night in a youth hostel a few years ago "putting away" the fantasy...ever since then I haven't fantasized about it. I have fantasized about other women, but lately have not been able to. To answer your other question--it's possible I'm bisexual, but the point is is that no matter how many times I tell myself or someone else tells me that it doesn't matter whether I'm gay, bi or straight, and that it is just about "the person I fall in love with," I still continue to be so incredibly uneasy and anxious about who I am. So somehow I feel like there is just a lot more to learn and come to terms with concerning who I am. It is so silly how un-eloquent I feel right now. I hope you can excuse this : ) I can really relate to you when you say that you've always felt different. I have also been incredibly angsty. I was all throughout highschool, and I guess I really still am. I am so confused about where my life is going because I still haven't figured out who I am. Also, being graphic is good! Please continue being graphic. I think being honest about these things is what this website is about : ) Also, your post is so confusing! In a good way, but I'm sorry you were/are going through something that made you want to kill yourself. Flowering sounds awesome. Will you tell me more about your depression? Part of why your post is so confusing is that it seems to also be so happy, and so I'm just curious as to what is going on in the depression realm of things. Also, I'm getting self conscious about my grammar and phrasing but I just want to say that I am so tired so I don't really want to go back and edit everything. OK! Lol ---------- Post added 21st Sep 2015 at 12:21 AM ---------- Sorry, after reading that post back to myself, I realized I probably should've slept before responding...
