This story is so complicated that I don't even know where to begin but I can't do this on my own anymore. I've been with my husband for almost 10 years. We each had recently divorced (we'd both married when we were 20) when we got together. Two years into our relationship we had 3 kids under the age of 5 (his, hers, theirs). Fast forward a few years, my husband told me he's always loved wearing women's clothes and he wears women's undergarments frequently when he's alone. Fast forward a couple more years and he ordered herbal supplements online to enhance breast growth and he says he doesn't want to have gender reassignment surgery but he wants boobs and a nice body for his own enjoyment, and mine, but it's just not something I'm into... The medicine also made him stop being such a jerk. He used to not be able to control his anger and was constantly being emotionally abusive. Okay so after he started taking the meds, I started having feelings for a female friend that I had recently met. We were best friends for quite awhile and then I realized I had fallen in love with her. She felt the same way (she's younger so no spouse or kids). So, I have researched so much.... Every article I could find, and I honestly believe I've always been attracted to girls but I had suppressed it because I grew up in a conservative Christian home. I still consider myself a Christian but I'm finding myself believing that it's okay to be a lesbian. My husband knows about my feelings for women, he says it makes no sense that I have no sexual desire for him because he "looks like a woman" and I can't explain that... But I don't have any sexual desire for him and he points out all the time that I never really have. He actually gets quite angry and says I need to accept him the way he is... And I do, but don't feel we can stay married. Every time I see two women together, I just know that's what I want..... I don't know where to go from here.... ---------- Post added 3rd Nov 2015 at 04:44 PM ---------- Forgot to add...... I'll be 32 this month.. Our boys are 13, 9, and 7
Heya! I'll try to tone down the hyper since this is such a serious matter, okay? Honestly, I feel that you should do what makes you happy. And this is why: 1) Family is important, but so are you. I know my mother personally was in a negative relationship for years to preserve as much as she could mine and my brother's stable home life. It lead to her being unhappy and that was far more painful than any odd family situation could have been. You should do what makes you happy to be happy, yes. But being happy puts your kids at ease and makes it easier to be the wonderful mother I'm sure you are. 2) There will always be harsh feelings when divorce becomes a thing. That one is pretty self explanatory. While I am younger than you, I feel you should definitely put less weight on words said in anger. 3) There is absolutely nothing wrong with being lesbian! Even in a family enviornment, lesbian relationships aren't a bad thing. They allow for more exposure to diversity and a more open mind. Having a happy lesbian mother is far more benifiacial to your family as a whole than a repressed/sad strait mother. All in all, I think you are doing something amazing by chasing what you want from life, and I wish you all the luck I have to offer!
Thank you! It's really hard to know what to do. I don't want to break up my family but I'm not attracted to my husband physically at all and I know that's not fair to him either...
You love who you love. You don't have to love your husband because he looks like a woman and you love women. You don't love every woman. If you can't stay in the marriage, your kids will be fine. And it sounds like your husband started taking the hormones without talking it through with you first? That would be very difficult to deal With. I'm not for a second saying that he needed permission, but there should have been a heads up. good luck. And welcome.
Your husband deserves better than to be married to a woman that doesn't find him/her sexually attractive. You're about to cheat on him/her like nobody's business, aren't you? If you have a shred of ethics, you'll divorce your husband before you go down on your crush. Well, if you were expecting kind words... I won't give them to you. Get divorced. Right now. Staying together for the sake of the kids almost NEVER works. Your husband acting like a jerk probably made you all kinds of wet. Didn't it? But now you feel betrayed that they didn't turn out as "manly" as you perceived them as. The ball's in your court. This is where you show everyone not what kind of a woman you are per se, but what kind of human being you are.
I wont pretend I know how your situation is. And maybe I never will. Just think about your boys and whats best for them. How every thing you choose to do will affect their lives. Then make your decision from there. you might need to talk with them at some point. Take them though the transition. I only know how it feels when something blows up in my face that affects me directly and knowing that i could've been informed earlier. it hurts. Whatever you choose to do just think about their lives and their future.
Well, he may look like one. But he isnt an actual physical female to me personally unless he were to transition mentally and physically. So I understand where you are coming from. It seems you may be bisexual, liking both females and males. But it seems like your husband has a possibility of being trans (gender or sexual) and well, it is okay if you are not interested in that. Do not be ashamed if that is not what you desure
