new to this

hey all. this is my first time posting about this or frankly talking to anyone at all about this. im 22, young white male. im very confused, angry, sad, irritated, and jealous all at the same time. since i was a young teen, i looked up to anyone who came out, gay bi transgender, etc. because i admired their strength to come out, not knowing what would happen. now i know i looked up to them because i wanted/want to have the same courage. i am sexually attracted to women, so much. but i am also attracted to men. im very confused by this because the handful of times i have been with men, i got a nauscious feeling in me and felt what i was doing was wrong and should be ashamed of it. ive always surpressed my feelings of sexuality but recently its been coming up more and more. my girlfriend of almost one year, whom i love very much and am attracted to, and i have been fighting more and more recently and i fear it is because i know i don't love her in the sense of a lover, but more of a friend. sometimes i catch myself fantasizing about men when im with her, but othertimes when im with men i fantasize about women. i dont know what to think. i feel so wrong about this, maybe because i come from a very masculine macishmo catholic background. i just dont know what to do and have no one to talk to about it and this site seemed like a good idea. sorry to spill too much info on my first post but im very excited anxious and scared to join this site and thank you all for reading!