Hi, I'm Rocks and Plants (Not sure how this works)

I'm not good with introductions, but I'll do my best here.

I'm currently 22, male, and in my post-graduate studies. Despite how old I am already, I am completely inexperienced: never been in a relationship, never been involved with a fling, never kissed, never had sex, etc. However, I develop romantic feelings for both guys and girls...although, since I grew up in an all-boys school, I've had a much greater number of guys liked. Despite all that, I am often branded as asexual by those who have no idea that I develop romantic feelings because I do have a tendency to rationalize or intellectualize feelings, AND, when I do start to feel like there could be a possibility of me liking a particular individual, I either (1) push them away by avoiding them or by convincing them that leaving me be is the wisest option, or (2) I try my best to get close to them so that I can use to their presence and convince myself that they are just friends from that point onward. Whenever people who barely know me ask why I have remained single at the moment - and most of them would assume I'm either gay or asexual - I just say that I hate people in general...which is partly true.

With just that, I could have simply proclaimed myself as asexual. But, my confusion came in when I realized I have fallen in love with a very close friend who is a self-proclaimed asexual, and this is why I'm here. I already told him, but I sort of taken his vague answers and inability to respond as simple rejection. I love him and he loves me too...as a friend I guess. Now, doesn't that make me homosexual? But, what if all I want is to be with the person...and nothing more. With the absence of sexual urges and just the presence of pure affection, could that be referred to as sexuality? If I start to feel butterflies towards any gender, what does that make me? The friends I confide in are divided: some say I'm bisexual and some say still asexual. Therefore, yes, again, I'm not sure what I am...except that, i have to admit, that I am any of the following except straight.

I guess I'll end my introduction (as to why I am here) there and detail the rest in a separate thread and/or blog.

Sincerely,
Rocks and Plants

P.S. my username came from the fact that I have been regarded as a rock (with no feelings) by my peers and the person I have grown to love calls himself a plant (as some sort of metaphor for asexuality).