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Just releasing held in feeling about my confused life

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by painter1234, Jan 1, 2016.

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  1. painter1234

    painter1234
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    Hi all, please mind my spelling and grammar as I am dyslexic and this is just a paragraph of my confused life. So I don't really know how to start this and may regret writing this tomorrow. When I was younger, I think maybe in year 8, I started to think I was attracted to girls and I got extremely frustrated. I felt like I couldn't tell anyone because I didn't want anyone to treat me differently. I was also not sure if it was a phase, or if It wasn't attraction, I was just really confused, and to be honest nothing has really changed. There was one time in a lesson I just started to cry, and had to leave because I just felt ill over it. Another time I was out to lunch with my mum and wanted to say something but I just couldn't. I know my mum would be okay with it (not 100% sure about other in my family) but there's still that fear. I am now 18 and since then its got more confusing I find myself wanting to be with guys and being attracted to few of them, not many, allot of the time its not instant. I find I want to kiss guys but may not enjoy it. But I would say I find girls more attractive, (I have never 'done' anything with a girl) and if there is an extremely good looking couple walking down the road id look at the girl. I found for a long time I was in denial, I think now iv come to terms that I find girls more attractive but I still don't know who I am. I developed extreme feelings for this one girl, nothing could ever happen for many, many reasons, and I'm not entirely sure what kind of love it was, or if I do, but I just don't want to say it. I may sound extremely weird. Iv just held this in for so long need to release. I have friends who are gay and everyone is fine with it, I just don't know.
     
    #1 painter1234, Jan 1, 2016
  2. Naxams

    Naxams
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    Yeah i had same feeling so your not alone i still cant talk to anyone about it its happened all of a suddion i dint know what to do with it so i got slightly depressed about it then i realized this is who i am and who should take that away from me no one that's who. just hope this helped a little
     
    #2 Naxams, Jan 1, 2016
  3. R M

    R M
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    It can always be difficult having thse feelings. I first had the same thing but then with guys. I think alot of the stress/frustrtation you have if from trying to put a label on your sexuality. It's okay if you do, but if you're still not sure, I wouldnt worry about it until you know what you reslly are. If you feel attracted to ANYONE, you should just try and go for it. If its a girl, try to go as far with her as your comfortable with. If it doesn work out maybe it's just the person and not the fact shes a girl. If you feel attracted to a guy, GO FOR IT! don't try to avoid it. And again, go as far as you're comfortable with. Also talking about your problems regarding sexuality is only but good for you. you'll find it easier to tell people everytime you do. telling it to someone IRL is a big step, but you'll feel so relieved after he first time. The first time I told anyone what I thought, I felt ashamed, but so ood afterwards. He accepted me for who I was and I've never felt so happy with myself. Parents probably already know/think what your sexuality is most of the time, so dont stress about it. If people don't accept you, don't give them any attention. Their negative energy only makes you feel bad about yourself.

    this is just what I think of the situation you're in. Sorry for my grammar. English isn't my first language. I hope this helped you a bit! Feel free to talk to me and post on my wall if you want to get something off of your chest. :grin:
     
    #3 R M, Jan 1, 2016
  4. Camel

    Camel
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    Hello there and welcome.

    Confusion is common. Some people say 'I knew I was gay when I was 6' and stuff like that. But a lot of people find it far more difficult to work out who they are. But it really doesn't matter. There are no rules you have to follow. You just need to be yourself, whatever that is, and don't be worried about making mistakes. Life is all about making mistakes (at least mine has been!)
     
    #4 Camel, Jan 2, 2016
  5. painter1234

    painter1234
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    Thank you guys so much. I was really hesitant about posting this because iv always thought these things but never said it/written because it makes it more real but you have really helped and really happy I did post it.
     
    #5 painter1234, Jan 2, 2016
  6. Nobo

    Nobo
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    This helped me :slight_smile: thank you
     
    #6 Nobo, Jan 3, 2016
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