I have always been bisexual, from my earliest memories I have been attracted to men and women. I have never been secretive about my attractions, but in the last month I have started to actively come out of the closet, mainly because my partner, who I love very much, is a woman and lesbian. My parents had always told us while growing up that they would be fine if someone was gay and they would love us anyways. What they failed to tell us that they would try everything to push us back into the closet and continue to get us to be straight. I do wonder that it would have been easier on them if I had come out as lesbian, they maybe would understand that I was just into women easier. But some how because I am bisexual I am meant to choose who I fall in love with. I didn't know that falling in love with someone is something that one chooses to do or not do. Since I am bisexual I am supposed to pass up my feelings for a woman, no matter how strong they are, because I should just ignore my heart, my love for someone because they are the wrong gender. In telling my mother that my girlfriend gave me a gift, she was very insistent that my girlfriend must be just a friend. I feel good about being openly bisexual, I feel as if I am free to be my whole self. I feel good to be my whole self, maybe they would rather I be depressed and just settle for the first man who comes along, would they want me to have a lavender life, maybe I will marry a nice closeted gay guy who I can pretend to play house with. Or maybe I will meet a nice trans-man who is into women and just not tell them that he is a transgendered person. I don't know how long I would be able to live like that. I don't want to do it, I want to love who I love. When my family tries to put me back into the closet or tries to tell my love that she is just a nice friend, it makes my heart heavy and I feel close to crying sometimes. I am close to walking away from my birth family and just letting them come back to me if they want to accept me how I am. I don't know what else to do about them. Sorry my introduction has become a free flow rant. I feel better having gotten that out though. Anyways hello... Hope to get on here and have interesting conversations.
Welcome to EC! You sound like you're in a difficult situation. Meeting another gay guy or something would probably be a good cover, but it only be temporary until you can get yourself out and living on your own. Putting this issue in the relationships thread would be a good idea, just so you know. Again, welcome to EC! Nice to meet you
NateC7: Thank you for replying to me. I actually do live not with my parents, I haven't lived with them for about 20 years. My issues with my family are not under my own roof, but it still hurts when your own parents (no matter how old you are) are rejecting you, unless you be or act as they wish you to. TeruTeruBouzu: Thank you
Hi! Welcome to EC. I wonder if this Coming Out advice video from Dan Savage might help you. Do you know him? He's got some good advice and this one is interesting because it flips around how you imagine things are. (He describes it better. ) Check it out and see what you think.
Really: Thank you for that video, that is my feelings about it too. It doesn't make the situation easier, just puts it into perspective. Today I am now questioning other parts of myself after reading some posts. This might be the beginning of a rather interesting journey being on this message board.
