Hello everyone! I am new to this site. I just woke up early and I was thinking, I need support for what I'm going through. How do I start? Well, I'm in my forties and I feel it's been a long journey! I still live with my parents due to cost of living where I live and I'm hoping to see the day of my independence from living here. Granted, the house I live in has much history, however I feel I need to live my life in freedom. Right now, I'm only making a part-time living and trying to decide what to do with the rest of my part-time. At the same time, I want to keep some options open just in case I meet someone, but I'm stuck on which option to do. As far as "being out", I'm only out to a few gay friends and that kind of support has been quite helpful. I think the hard part is that these people are already out, so they are on the other side, whereas I am not. Has anybody had any similar experiences and advice? What I'm afraid of if I ever do come out, is that they would look at me as if I'm an alien, or disgusting creature, or demented/diseased in some way. I'm just saying these are the types of things that occur in the back of my mind when the time to come out does happen. Has anybody had any similar thoughts like this? This is exactly the reason I came to this site and perhaps to help support others along the way!
Welcome to empty closets! EC for short. You've come here for help relating to coming out? It might be a good idea to make a thread about that on the "Coming Out Advice" section but on the meantime I can try to be for help the best I can ^-^ So the thing is that you're afraid of how your parents will/would react if you'd come out to them. I was scared about how my parents would react but eventually got it. I'd say you could start with how your parents feel about lgbt people. If you don't know you could indirectly "ask" about their opinions e.g. if there's something on the news relating to lgbt themes you might want to take a notice of how they react. It would be good thing if you're not obviously "spying" on them Or depending on how spontaneous you are you could ask/comment if there's something that leaps close to the subject and then take notes (protip, use your mind instead of notepad) So now you're somewhere on the map (hopefully) of how your parents feel about lgbt people/themes. From here on you could weigh the things relating to your situation, your parents views, etc. and then proceeding futher. Other stuff: Feel free to enjoy yourself on the forums and ask questions / support if there is something pressing on your mind. People around here are really supportive & friendly and If you'd like to talk more with some people you will need to have atleast 10 posts so you can send wall messages. If you haven't read the code of conduct yet I'd recommend reading it. But I will highlight this one thing right here. "Protect your privacy. Do not post email addresses, social networking links, contact email addresses, IM or chat information in the forums, on your profile, on any wall or in the public area of the chat room." So basicly one may not publicly share any contact information that could be used to contact one outside empty closets. Did I miss anything? Have fun and enjoy your stay, the drinks are on me. Foxer out
Thanks for your reply! That was very helpful. Does that include not giving any info in private messages?
He mentioned PUBLIC Areas, so Im guessing it doesnt matter if its in PMs. Like, maybe you met someone near where you live you can contact him I guess (Correct me if Im wrong). Regarding your issue, I second the idea of finding out what they really think about LGBT peoples first, before trying to come out. If you had a better job you would be able to move away and do your thing, Im in the same situation ATM... But I still have my Hopes up. Edit: And Welcome to EC Lol, almost forgot. There is a very friendly Community here apparently.
No. It is possible to give info with private message but it requires that both you and the recipient are full members, as read in the conduct: "You may only share any of the above information via Private Message, which requires yourself and the recipient to both be Full Members." Stay safe my dears - foxer
Actually, I did ask my mother what she thought of gay people, but she just stared at me as if she was shocked, or something was wrong with me! The reason I asked that question was in tie with another question that I believe I have some that I work with.
